my own starbucks story

well, i believe most of us got their own stories to tell and i just thought about this when i was going through my blogposts.

in april of 2007 i wrote this:

Single thoughts:

was sitting long at starbucks watching at people pass by, looking at couples more specifically when i started asking myself:

M: why can't i ever find a regular guy like these girls found theirs??


Me-too: you're not a regular girl. you can't be with a regular guy.




sigh...

a few weeks after that though, i met someone along with a group of friends at starbucks 6750, of all places.

and things were never the same again.



and indeed he is not any other regular guy. hihihi.

well this year i decided to get me that red starbucks planner that they are offering.

i'm not that much into planners but as soon as i saw the red one i knew i've got to have it. maybe it's about time that i get used to writing on a pen and paper once more and hopefully improve my penmanship.

and red, red, red...it is so red as red can be because it reminds me of life and that corny, icky, ewwie feeling of being in love once again. yiheee! hahaha!

not your ordinary kind of love story

i was jogging around the football field when i remembered Russel. he's some guy in my past, no it didn't really became an us but i did have fond memories of that boy. i'm reposting this blog post which i had three years ago. i'm really just hoping and praying that he is fine wherever he is now.

*****************************************************

you were sitting then at dunkin donuts waiting for your friends. you had your hair grown long enough to be tied back looking neat.

i was standing outside waiting for my ride.

you smiled at me.

i hesitantly smiled back.

you called me in.

i did and we talked a while. i noticed you had with you Nicholas Spark's A Walk To Remember. i told you i loved the book and the movie and the soundtrack. you told me you have the cd soundtrack and the dvd too. we chitchatted for a while but i had to go so we exchanged numbers instead. we also agreed to see each other again once we get back to manila. that was december.

i felt thrilled a bit. after all you were a sorta crush from way back. we first met at a science camp in high school. you were in first year high. i was a senior. you were but a kid then.

i kinda forgot about it then. till i got a text message sometime in february. it was from you. you wanted us to meet but we were both too busy to agree on a good date.

but that valentine's day, we both talked about being text dates instead. even if we did not have to see each other that day at least we were able to keep track of each other at least through texts. i remembered not being able to reply to your messages and you reprimanded me for being a bad date. thus came night time, when work was done, i set all things down and texted with you till late night until we fell asleep. that has to be one of my most memorable valentines day.

we met only about a week later. twas kinda good to squeeze such moment in both our busy yuppie lives. and though i'm not really into horror films, you made me watch The Eye which did not really stop me from having a good time. the conversations, the closeness, the mere feeling of being with you was totally different. it was as if it was meant to be.

but maybe not. our work, our businesses were always between us. we would agree to see each other again but something would always come up.

you would tell me to meet up and i would wait and wait. but there wasn't a mere scent of you.

you would surprise me with a visit but you'd be surprised i was not home.

you would hastily ask me to see you after your football practice but i've already made prior engagements.

you told me i'm impatient. i told you you were plain unavailable.

a mere discussion turned into an ugly text war. and we were not even together yet.

i had to go on.

this girl has been scalded and scathed. the young girl's fantasies remained as such. it was time to get real.

you asked for us to start over. though hesitant i wanted to give it a chance too. i wanted to see if things will get better if we see each each other again.

we met again one holiday. and like the first time, we also watched a movie. but i enjoyed the movie more than being with you. it was after all nicholas cage's The National Treasure. i was grateful you took me to it. but not so much that i get to see you again. twas truly the end for us then as the end credits rolled.

i was kinda hoping that maybe, just maybe fate, will be sweeter for us again. i was looking forward to still seeing you around and learn great things about you. who knows.

PS.

There's no more chance of seeing him anywhere anymore. Apparently he took his own life reportedly after having broken up with his gf. Only God knows what the real reason could be. But it's such a waste. Such a sad, sad news. Dunno. Am still at a daze.

too colorful

twas indeed too colorful twas almost blinding.

we were like kids chasing each other on the alleyways. you would wait up for me before we go to our classroom. you would then offer to carry my stuffs.

we were always sitted beside each other. we were always whispering or making signs that we appeared to have our own language.

though people around us suspected, no one really bothered to ask us.




how we bickered when i wasn't home and you called up. or i was wearing something you didn't approve of. or when you cut class again or did not have an assignment.

we even used to meet up every morning on the upper floors whenever we give the excuse that we are checking out the classroms before the flag ceremony. that became our sort of little playground. it was there where we talk about mundane or silly things like the tv show we watched the night before, or what we had for dinner, or how i quarelled with my mom again. it was there where we hurriedly do our assignements we've failed to do then.

it was there where once, you hugged me from behind and thanked me for being there when you needed me the most. and for being there when you just wanted to be with someone who wouldn't ask you for anything.i must have melted in your arms and realized how much that felt good and how much that meant to me then.

but then of course everyone else knew that you were with someone. she was a friend of mine and we would meet up once in a while along the corridors and in school activities. young as i was though it really didn't matter much to me. of course there would be times when i'd ask you about her but you chose not to talk about it. you always just want to talk about you or me or anyone else but what you had with her. everyone else around me told me to let them be or make him choose. but that didn't matter to me much. i just wanted to be with him and why else would we both deprive ourselves of our moments.

call me naive or blind or what. but i was content with it. after all i still had him at my beck and call.

came a time though when i chose to be with someone too. after all we were leaving high school and i sort of realized how much i've spent so much time with you i've failed to notice this guy who i've gotten close too. coincidentally he was your bestfriend and though on the one hand it was supposed to make things better for us all since we can all be together and have fun however things only became more complicated. phew! i didn't know loving and being in a relationship could be that hard.

that somehow took a toll in our friendships. you started to stay away from me telling me i should spend more time with your friend and not with him. friends told me that there became a strain in your friendship too. i dunno, everything just became too cloudy. i chose to back away from everyone else. guess it has always been my escape to just stay away from it all.

then came graduation...we didn't speak a long time then you gave me a letter. it was not just an ordinary letter. it was written in a binder filler and was more than 10 pages long. it had verses and poems and songs. and it told me how much i mean to you. but you didn't want to hurt your friend or complicate things even more. i remember crying while i was reading that damn thing. we were on a class outing then, i was on the beach and it was really hard to hide my tears.

oh well...a few days after you left for college. then i left too....

i chose you

we were in 3rd year high. i was the usual snobbish elitist girl who didn't care much about boys. i had enough troubles already struggling with staying on top and being the best student and leader. i didn't really get to look around and see who's cute or not.

then you came.

you we're a transferee. apparently you were kicked out from your previous school. my apologies for being blunt.

you came into class not bringing anything except for a small binder. i knew then how carefree you must be. but i stared and followed you and stared. there was something about you. yeah, something so familiar about you.

then our teacher introduced you to us as a transferee. as soon as i heard your name i knew at once who you were. you were a classmate in kindergarten. i had vivid images of you. you were kinda chubby then with straight jet black hair in full bangs. i remember getting a glimpse of you standing at the doorway of your store near our school as the jeep i'm riding on passed by it. i remembered your mom who brought you to school everyday. i remembered that we even had a picture taken then. i remembered you.

i remembered rummaging through my stuff for our photo. after all i was determined to get to know you really well. then i found it, kinda yellowed with age yet there was us. i couldn't help but smile.

come election time, i had you nominated as property custodian. i didn't even exactly knew what it meant but i did just the same. of course you lost, after all no one really knew you well. but at least i got your attention and stared at me a bit too.

then i knew school won't ever be the same way again.

for admittedly, i was smitten.

letting go... letting come...

i've dreamed of you twice this week. twas really weird and so vivid i could still remember my lines till now. i told you "am never happy knowing that you're with someone else" how am i supposed to deal with that?

you've been married almost two years now. and though you live just a short ride away we've never seen each other for such a long time. i've never even seen your daughter who's turning 2 soon. i guess i erased any longing to ever see you again the day you walked the aisle on your wedding day. your dad was relieved in declaring i could finally go on with my life now. but have i? will i?

i just learned that you actually named your daughter alexa, my son is alixandro. i remembered we both got surprised upon knowing that and you told me you're hoping that your alex could someday meet my alix. and i was tempted to retort that yeah, so my son could break your daughter's heart too. my bad. that bad.