missing my patronus

one difficulty with LDRs is when you have those moments when you are feeling emo. those times when you just want a hug or a peck or someone to scratch your restless fingernails on. 

i remember last summer when he was still here and i was feeling this same sh1t i posted on my fb wall that "i need my patronus". i didn't really specify anything or anyone but i got a call from him telling me that he's gonna come and see me and we'll have dinner even if it's just fom Jollibee. i asked him why, we didn't have any sked that day since we've been seeing each other too often the past days and we were spending way too much as well. anyway, he just said he read my status and that he wanted to see me and give me a hug and be my patronus while he's in town. aww. 

well anyway, i had that same moment tonight. i was feeling down and restless and sad and depressed and desperately needed a pick upper. i couldn't bother him because of different time zones, sucks yeah. and i know he is so busy these days and i can't just bother him with my whimsical woes. 

so i left the office early and thought of something significant to do. i went to NBS to buy book ends for my comic books and er, books. then i was hungry and wanted to eat something special but i felt like wanting to cook just so i could distract myself. i went to the supermarket but on the way there i changed my mind thinking i'll just go to Mom and Tina's instead. i went there, sat down and pored on the menu, didn't like anything and left. i went to Pancake House, sat down checked the menu again, and this waiter kept on asking if i was with somebody. after sitting there for several minutes i stood up and left again. then walked some more. waah, i felt lost, i felt like i needed to do something with my life and must start with having a significant night but i dunno where to go and people at the resto would keep on asking me if i wanted a table for two!!

then i went to Cafe Sweet Inspirations and ogled on the cakes, oh that's more like it. so i got meself a slice and wolfed it down. then i skipped on home happily.

sorry magulo. PMS lang ito. bukas niyan okay na ako uli. 

my point is, yes, it's never easy and yes i do go through those moments of helplessness and yes distance is definitely a b1tch but it should not deter you from keeping on loving the person that you love just because they are far away.