Guess i was quite dragged into this quite unexpectedly but not reluctantly. But then at 30, being able to bring out a child into this world proves to be both exciting and exhilarating. Nevermind if i did not get married, and i don't think i even have any plans at all, selfish as it may seem.
I remember telling my girlfriends then that i'm gonna have my baby by the time i turn 30 "by hook or by crook, even if i'll have to pick up just any guy on the side". heheh, some fantasy huh! thus when i learned i was pregnant at 29, i was both scared and anxious but some naughty smile escaped me remembering those in/famous last words.
right now though, there's nothing much that is on my mind but seeing my Xan, being with him, answering his every whims and call. this brat has become a willing slave to a little tyke. this vain me could not help but forego eyeing those nice pair of jeans for my xan's cutesy rompers or carrier. I have even given up my latte fixes in favor of formulas and diapers and wipes. hell, i may even have to give up my job! but who really cares. there is indeed such a thing as foregoing the good things for the better ones. that sacrifice entails more noble results. that bringing my Xan to this world could be the best thing i could do to this life.