Thursday, March 26, 2009
i have been told to slow down after complaining from feeling numbness and pain on my right chest, shoulders and arms. i have forgotten i had surgery on that area three years ago and it's reminding me now of that procedure i had then.
i read on the news last night that Jennilyn Mercado was rushed to the hospital "kasi bumuka ang tahi niya"! :Eek: how the heck did that happen? i remember my brother had to stop me from doing sit-ups/crunches even after 6 months when i had Xan. well, i already felt well enough at that time and i didn't know there was going to be any risk factors.
i know i've been sleeping most days lately. i have been almost sedentary because i haven't jogged since the warm air of summer came. but still they say i need to take it easy. i can't carry heavy stuff most especially on my right arm. argh, i don't know how that's going to work. at least i will be going home soon and will be on vacation. but i don't think i could ever stop myself from carrying Xan who is now more than 30 kilos, eh!
i might need to take pain relievers though i'm still a bit hesitant. my eldest sister told me i have been addicted to morphin for a while a few days after my CS operation. nakaka high pala talaga yun hihi.
i'm thinking of other pain management therapies, much as i adore Dr. Gregory House, i don't think i'd ever want to be addicted to vicodin.
i ask my friends around and i could hear a bunch of other health concerns too. yeah, yeah, yeah, signs of aging indeed!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
i was just starting to read the first few chapters of Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood and got to that part when the college guy Watanabe was exchanging letters with this girl, Naoki. I stopped and remembered i had some mementos i had from college. i stood up and found myself rereading those letters/scrapbook/test papers which i have saved from home. i became teary-eyed, well yeah, i have changed a lot since i had Xan. tears would well up even at the slightest provocation. heck, i even felt like crying when Jasmine was booted out of Am Idol and i don't even like her!
okay that was a bit of a distraction.
i read my theo reaction papers and was ashamed with what i wrote.
i leafed through my philo exams and missed Thirdy again. Thirdy was my teacher in Philo 101 and 102, yeah, i had a big crush on him more so because he made me fall in love with philo and with the Tagalog dialect. each class with him was like an entire Balagtasan session. i did meet Thirdy again years after college and he proudly showed me his wedding ring, ouch. but he did invite me to visit him in his office and talk Philo with him again sometime. well i never got the chance. those were them rotten days when i was always gallivanting around tsk, tsk.
i read a letter from Mario who was a batch lower but who happened to be one of my closest friends especially because he never called me ate haha! he was more like a partner in crime. he's letter was more of an answer to my birthday card to him which also asked, "kumusta ka?" well, with our penchant for giving out solid answers for this rather simple yet deep question he sent me a 3 page back to back letter recounting his day to day activities. those must be one of those rare times when we were able to catch up with our lives. serendipitously, i happened to catch him walking around campus last year with his then gf now wife, Gemma. thus i was able to catch his wedding a few weeks after that. hadn't it been for that chance meeting i could have missed that great event in his life. awww.
i saw another letter this time from Cherry, it recounted more her days in East Timor when she went there for a mission. i remember she went there after graduation for some soul searching, naks. that time she was contemplating on becoming a nun, but of course she got married to her bestfriend Macoy. I read some parts there where she said she was glad I have forgiven her, well, uhm, i didn't know we fought. Tang, what the hell did i do?? Haha!
then i saw my "something". something is the scrapbook i had when we went into the second sem of our senior year. it is like a logbook where we could write anything and everything in there. i passed it around my friends and they would write/draw/doodle/ write poems/songs whatever. Winfer wrote several notes and poems there. he told me how grateful he was that i was there during the Eheads fiasco. which led me to wracking my brains as to what that was all about? i knew they lost money there. i just forgot why and how.
i read Bambie's letter too ranting more about what must be life without the rest of us from the batch. and he said it must be "one dull day after another"...naks. Bambs, i know you've always wanted to preserve most of our memories by taking so many photos then. i know i said i had some of the negatives with me, and i remember i had them i just don't know where they are now. waah! i still have some snapshots here though. i've scanned some of them and i could send you copies if you want. when i go home again, i'll try to look for them again in my piles and piles of stuff back home. i'm sorry.
Donnie had a rather cute post there, he said that friendships are not supposed to end even if we're all far apart. buti na lang may multiply, ayan we've reconnected haha!
just atop Donnie's note was a caricature from Macoy with words that said, " i've watched sunsets with you and a few sunrises as well. they were the most beautiful sunsets (and sunrises) of my life. i think." sa likod ng Faura, before Prince David and Burgundy were up, we had the most beautiful conversations and reflections there while waiting for the sun to set. those were the goddamn good days indeed.
i miss Doms, my other trusted friend who painstakingly tutored me in math 11 and taught me philo even when we were still in freshman. yeah, Gabay made us study philo for four years hehe. we both worshipped Ayn Rand and followed her principles to the hilt. we were always the outcasts because we preferred going our own ways. i greeted him on his birthday a few weeks ago and he replied with another "kumusta ka?" to which i haven't replied till now. hmm...
Mike P., do you rememeber how they used to call us the "three rotten eggs"? Yikes, Mike P, my poor "soul". I don't think i was ever a good enough "angel" for you.
i recall how we had such grand times. but i regret more how selfish i was. i don't even recall anymore as to what really happened back then. i was so self-absorbed.
i was such a troubled soul and i couldn't even remember why. was it youthful folly? was i homesick? or was i just plain KSP?
i look back and realize how i could have studied more and gotten better grades. but i guess i was more emotional than industrious. i loved studying only the things that truly fascinated me. i only superficially memorized the ones i didn't feel like learning. okay, i'm just justifying my poor grades. well i graduated anyway, what the heck.
i wish i could have been more friendly instead of being indifferent. i could have been warmer instead of being snobbish to people.
but then again i'm glad who i was. i had the greatest friends. the very few who knew me actually understood me, i hope.
i wish i was able to write more letters or notes. i wish i could still have more mementos for me to go through and recall all those great times again.
i wish, i wish...but more than anything else i'm glad i had those things for me to recall all those memories that passed us by.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
( pardon me, i'm not so familiar with court procedures. heck, i only lasted one sem of law school thinking i'd only drown myself in the technicalities.)
i am still in awe over what has happened. it has been almost three years after all. i searched for my previous blog posts thinking i might have posted anything about it but found none. now i'm feeling this urgency to create one if only to understand how it all happened. but i realize how difficult recalling those things are now.
the trauma, the drama.
let me just start with a little backgrounder, and nope, please don't make me name names.
we had a co-employee in the office back then. she was considered a bit of an ogress when i first started working. she acted warm and happy when i was around. but i was told that she loved saying stuff about me. threatened? i was barely 22, she was in her 50s. but i don't know how she had considered me a threat.
i've always been indifferent. i'm not the ass-kisser type who'd make pa cute when i need to have something done. i'd get to work, do my stuff and rarely does small talk.
then i heard her say that i'm "mayabang because my mom is a friend of our boss".
i brushed it off. Irrelevant!
then she said,. i'm "mayabang because i'm atenista."
now what the hell! lol!
and because i remained unfazed she said i'm merely mayabang. heheheh.
i didn't really care. instead i found ways to get to know her. i am after all a sucker for older people. i just adore them. in short, binobola ko. "wow, nice dress; nice shoes; naka make-up!" etc...
we somehow became friends for a while. although of course there was always this sense of wariness because i was often reminded by my peers to stand guard. she after all has this very shady character. we were pretty okay for years.
things changed much when i had to announce i was having Xan.
she appeared surprised yet happy for me. gave me a lot of unsolicited advice, even gifts and money. i welcomed it feeling happy that i at least had a mother figure i could rely a bit on. i was vulnerable. i was with child. unwed. emotional.
i felt like i needed every support i could have.
i trusted her amidst all those warnings.
i was supposed to leave work already once the project commenced. my boss was ready to drop me off because of what happened to me. i was after all in a Jesuit-run project and my situation could have an adverse effect on it. i didn't understand it much but i gave in.
i was ready to go.
when i had to take my maternity leave she was reportedly very happy. she would sit on my desk and exclaim how nice that spot was.
then she took over managing a big event for our project.
she wasn't even my assistant.
then i learned that she was also verbally harassing my staff. she fought with one of them and was told "walang modo kasi anak ng OFW."
my assistant was called "asal squatter", to think she lives just a little distance from them.
and of course, i'm special...i was called "immoral". she went around telling old friends and acquaintances about it.
i couldn't even begin to describe the emotions i've had back then. i was so ready to leave my job.
and then my boss asked me to stay. he said they had a change of heart. that they have decided to just forgive me and take me back. i didn't have to leave anymore.
So I stayed.
But more irregularities were found about her.
my boss consulted with the board and his peers. investigations ensued, labor cases were filed, and he just stopped talking and ignored her completely.
she was left in the dark. i believe she doesn't know how she got to where she is now. she could only continue guessing.
i am cringeing at the thought that if she hasn't posted bail then it means she must be behind bars now.
poetic justice indeed.
yeah, i have been immoral. it is a stigma i have to carry on for the rest of my life just like the surgical scar on my tummy where Xan came out. but at least i will only have wonderful dreams about my son.
she can only continue to give us nightmares and bad memories.
and so this is the part when i just want to continue with my GnR song...
but i had to kill her. i had to put her six feet under.
Friday, March 20, 2009
wolfgang: two sides live
mar. 19, 2009
now i know why i wasn't at the eheads concert, because i was meant to be here!
my initiation into manila's band scene was when we'd bar hop at some of the old jaunts in makati ave. particularly at Kalye and Atrium, i was then a freshman and a fresh promdi as well.
that was where i'd get to meet my first love, basti artadi, yihee!
i was so in love with the vocals, with the music, with the band.
and that was more than 10 years ago, aww and they were virtually unknowns then. as i got introduced to more of the manila sound, and the rigors of school and more of urban living i must have strayed away from the band and sort of forgotten about them. silly me.
i have heard about their reunion and latest activities months ago but never really gave it much of a thought till a friend sent me some mp3s and reminded me of what i must have been missing.
i don't know what you'd call it but it's like being reminded of how i once was, young and carefree and vibrant but pensive and soulful.
i was glad i went there tonight. it felt good listening to, screaming with, and experiencing wolfgang once more.
it's like coming home.
i just feel so envious for the audience who's never left basti's side thus memorizing each line from all of their songs. i wanted to sing along with them too. oh well.
thanks, andrea for the free tickets.
now i'm feeling even more nostalgic. buti na lang binili ko iyung cd. hihi.
i took basti home with me. yi-ha!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I'm still ambivalent about Adam though, i don't like his looks, pretty OA. the same way i never liked Lukas Rossi before. I don't really dig the boyish looks in eyeliners and black painted nails appearance but man, i just can't help but swoon with his voice and this rendition. i've listened to this vid so many times over. yup, listened not watched. :p
for some reason i could not add text nor edit it lest the codes get tangled up, oh well.
Friday, March 13, 2009
and i've come to realize that wow, the most barbaric women we have are not found on the country side but here in our urban jungle.
precisely on the MRT. on a rush hour.
wow, i've never felt so mobbed.
greatly reminds me of this video from a Japanese show.
oh while at it, you might want to see this as well.
how i pity those who have to brave this situation each and every day of their God-forsaken lives. My gravest sympathy.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
i grew up from a family bereft of male figures. i didn't really get to know my grandfathers.
i lost my dad when i was 18.
i only have one brother.
i've always wondered what it's like being surrounded and taken cared of by men.
i was always with male friends as my barkada. i was one of the boys.
imagine my awe when i saw Clint Eastwood's latest flick, Gran Torino. i can't help but say, "Wow i'd want a grandpa or a dad like him! Cool! "
reminiscent of his Dirty Harry spunk and the muy romantico essence from Bridges of Madison County, Clint Eastwood is a sight to behold here. in this film he is not Clint Eastwood, the actor. He is Mr. Walt Kowalski, the Korean War veteran.
i have no more encouraging words for now, just go watch it. i'm still puffy eyed. it's such a great piece of work. and i'm glad to say that with young people dying these days, falling one by one like flies, this actor and director is still way up there and giving us more movies to watch out for.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
i was not allowed to get into the lrt from cubao to katipunan tonight because i had in my possession two small canisters of butane gas for my stove which i bought at shopwise. they said it could explode inside the train.
so tell me, is there any truth to this?
i've been doing this for almost a year now and it is only now that they have stopped me from getting into the train. grrr! i had to take a cab instead.
i'm not being mayabang here but for the two weeks that i was in Japan and riding their trains everyday, no one bothered to check our bags. there was no queue on the entrance to the turnstiles unlike here where it could get ridiculously long.
are we being too obsessive with our security? or are we just being stupid?
i remember when i was in iligan, at the height of those bombings, i was not allowed to get inside the mall because i had with me my laptop. wtf! so a laptop is now considered dangerous? i asked the security guard why and he could not give me a logical explanation except that he was just following orders. i told him they should just ban mobile phones instead because these are being used as bomb timers anyway, but laptops?
and oh they don't allow ipods and mp3 players as well.
back to the lrt, did you know that you are not also allowed to enter if you are lugging a big travelling bag of a specific dimension with you? like if you want to save and travel to the airport via the trains with your luggage forget it. you'd be most likely denied entry.
there was a girl before who had with her a can of century tuna supposedly for her baon, she was not allowed entry as well bwahaha!
so tell me again, is there a scientific or logical explanations for all this restrictions?
or is this another "onli in the pilipins" thing?
i am glad we were booked here during my last visit in Japan. i love the cozy, cozy place and its accessibility and their basic amenities and the free buffet breakfast!
my home for about 4 days in Tokyo. this is in the Kayabacho area. they have several branches all over Tokyo and Japan.
the buffet breakfast mainly consists of salads, breads, hardboiled eggs, juice and coffee.
and my nightly treat has always been this hot mint bath to soothe the tiredness and the cold. yey!
in Osaka, i stayed at another of their branch which was in Shinsaibashi station.
this is located just one station away from Namba which has the airport express, this train could already take us to the airport for barely one hour.
and my room even has a foot massager. i only got to use it once in my two day stay because, well i didn't have the luxury of time. :(
they have more food varieties for their free buffet breakfast too.
their website is at http://www.hvf.jp/eng/ must be nice going back to their place again.
Friday, March 06, 2009
but i've always adored the man not just as an artist but more as a family man. i used to see him often when they still lived near Torres Bldg. here in Katipunan. I used to see Maxene then as a grade schooler with her younger brother scouring Shoppersville with a grocery list in hand and picking up goodies.
I'd see his wife Pia, walking carefree along the streets nearby. They have always been simple and friendly. and I've admired more of him being the main man in the family. They must have been the most unassuming showbiz family I've seen around. Beautiful, beautiful kids too.
i'm just sad. really sad. i remember including him in my prayers when i heard about his ailment. haay.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
my previous visits in bohol have always been work-related and what made it even more different is that we shunned away from land tours and focused mainly on relaxing and enjoying the beach.
we arrived at tagbilaran at past 6pm because well, er, we had to work. we went directly to Loboc where the children's choir waited to sing for us. yup, we had a sort of VIP treatment because it so happens that their trainor/directress is a recipient of our award.
we had tiresome days and a long, bumpy trip but going there was all worth it. the angelic voices of the children just took all our weariness away. we couldn't help but shed tears when they sang some of the most melodious songs we've ever heard.
after the performance we could not help but have pics with them like some starstruck fans. we really hope we could see more of them soon.
from loboc we headed to panglao and checked in at Dumaluan Beach Resort. there's 4 of us in this huge room and just requested for additional mattresses and beddings.
we were tired but we had some energy left to party and dance with their resident band. good enough, the show ended promptly at 10pm thus we had to turn in earlier for the night.
at 6am the following morning, our bangka, Destiny, was waiting for us at the beach to take us on a sea tour to Balicasag and the Virgin Is.
it was a good 30 mins. or so ride but we were all jolted from sleepiness when we saw dolphins frolicking nearby! it was fleeting but we saw two sightings and they were all gone. i wasn't able to take pics because they were gone in a heartbeat tsk, tsk.
the we docked to Balicasag where the marine reserve is and where we could go snorkeling to our hearts content.
but okay, here's my major rant, everything here in Balicasag is such a rip-off! we had to pay PhP150 per head for the tour guide. they are supposed to lead us to the snorkeling area with their small boats because our boat could no longer go to the protected marine reserve. but, WTF, 150 per head is just too much especially when there's 8 of us in the group. what we did was persisted and decided we did not want any guide. then we got more offers for scuba shoes to protect our feet from the sea urchins for another Php100, snorkellng gear for another Php100, etc. etc.
even their food prices were exorbitant. fish was at Php350 pero kilo plus another 150 for the cooking fee. rice was at Php15 per cup. a small chippy costs 20. yay, we ended up really hungry when we decided we'll just have lunch back at our resort hehe.
oh, entrance into the Balicasag Resort is another Php100. we need to pay Php20 if we need to pee. well, we rested at the sandy area just outside the resort border for free. while we were frolicking and having fun taking pictures a guy approached and offered to be our guide for Php100. i bargained for 50 to which he agreed hehehe. so we were able to go to the snorkeling area for 50 each but had to pay another 50 for the shoes. we should have worn sandals then to protect our feet. but the experience was all worth it. there were just too many colorful fishes and corals, and starfishes and sea urchins too.
i just could not understand why they had to charge us too much. one guy even retorted, "sa siyudad din naman may bayad lahat", when i asked them why they had to charge us with every step that we have to make. hmpf! maybe they are just too proud with what they have. but please, these beautiful corals and fishes are abundant everywhere around the little islands in the country so i hope they will stop thinking as if it is only in Balicasag where we could see them that we have to spend too much. hmpf!
after the quick snorkeling activities we left the island and headed to another Virgin Island. this must be the nth Virgin Island i've been to in the country but yes, oh yes, beautiful it is indeed!
the waters were just so clear and the sand so white and powdery. beautiful, beautiful indeed!
at past 12 noon we headed back to our resort for our much anticipated lunch. we spent the rest of the day lounging and resting, and sleeping and swimming. we had our massages from the bulags who were also recipients of our award. kaya home service na, discounted pa.
we partied some more that night and woke up to a beautiful sunrise the following morning.
but we had to prepare again because we had to leave just right after breakfast to catch our 10am flight to manila. before heading to the airport though, we had the chance to drop by the Blood Compact site along the highway.
bye, bye Bohol. we had such a great time!
but please let me thank the following for our smooth and truly enjoyable trip:
John Araneta for picking us up at the port, brought us to Loboc and brought us to our resort in Dumaluan. Cel no. 0920 4809050.
Jesskath/Tatsky for our sea tour. (09108112091)
Dumaluan Beach Resort, where we stayed.
and to our bayanis in the area, Mr. and Mrs. Hidolito Taldo and the Bohol Federation for Disabled Persons. Mabuhay kayo!
the motif will be blue and matte gold.
the church will be at Corpus Christi.
reception at...hmm, di pa ako sure saan hehe.
date is this April 18th.
culled from http://www.bridesmaid101.com
Maid of Honor Duties
As the Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor, you have one of the most important roles in making sure the bride's and groom's wedding is a success. Many times the groom will not help out as much as the bride would like which is why your role is so important! Below we have listed some of the top maid of honor duties to make the process more manageable and creative:
Help in going with the bride to look at different locations for the wedding. Many times the Bride needs help in choosing where to have the ceremony and party besides what day and time to have the wedding. Ask if you can participate in this process since it can be a very stressful.
Help the bride choose her wedding invitations as well as possibly address the invitations if she needs your support. Many times a bride may outsource her invitations but if they need to be addressed by the family, your help will be key in reducing the load of tasks to complete.
If the bride needs help in ordering and choosing decorations and favors, your opinions may be helpful in making decisions for narrowing down choices and making sure the decorations are in on time for the wedding, shower and bachelorette parties.
Go with the bride when she is shopping for her wedding dress as well as the Bridesmaid Dresses. It is very important to help make sure the dresses are ordered and arrive in enough time for alterations! It is helpful for you to attend the multiple fittings in giving your friend some feedback in how the dress looks and fits.
Many times the groom does not want to go to register with his bride-to-be. You can be very supportive by going with your friend to register for her wedding gifts as well as letting other guests know where the bride and groom are registered. This is a very fun experience so take part in the choosing if she needs help.
Help the bride in the seating arrangement. This can be a very difficult process with the more people coming to the wedding. Many times it makes it easier to draw out the tables and move people around until you have a close to perfect fit. Note: It is very helpful to bring this drawing to the wedding just in case there are any mix-ups, you will save the day!
Host and Plan the Bridal Shower as well as the Bachelorette Party!
Help keep order and organization with the other bridesmaids.
Attend and help out during the rehearsal dinner. Many times the bride, groom and their families are pre-occupied and forget about things which is where you can save the day by being organized.
Field messages for the bride and her family to make sure you are up on any changes (especially if they are last minute changes that affect the other guests).
Attend all bridal fairs with the bride as well as cake and catering tasting.
Make sure the bride arrives to the ceremony and that she has everything on the Maid of Honor Checklist that we have created to make your life easier.
Assist the bride in getting into her dress and makeup
Be the messenger if the bride wants to communicate messages to the family or groom so you are always up on what is going on.
Visit the reception room and party room (if possible) to make sure there are no problems or issues. It is much better to be proactive.
Help make sure the bride has privacy if she needs some quiet time before the ceremony.
Be the witness in the signing of the marriage license which is an honor!
Help the bride with her veil and train (if she has one). I have seen many weddings where brides have tripped on their train which takes away from her experience for a moment.
Be your friend's "right-hand-woman" at the altar. She may be very nervous and you can be the calming source with your presence.
Keeper of the brides bouquet during the ceremony. Make sure you have a free hand.
Keeper of the groom's ring. It is your task to also make sure the groom's ring is in your possession at all times until you give the ring over to the bride!
Make a toast and/or speech during the wedding party since it is tradition and most people love hearing these friendship stories!
Make sure you lock up the bridal/groom money bag after the bride and groom dance with all of their family and friends so someone does not steal or pick it up by accident.
Last, but not least, provide moral support and be a great listener throughout the process since it is a very wonderful and "positively" stressful time for your friend. You can really make the difference!
Too often, the duty of "straightening/fluffing" the Bride's dress is overlooked. If the Bride is staying on a level, straight path, then this can be done before her descent down the aisle. However, if she is turning, or stepping up steps and/or turning to reach her destination, then the Maid/Matron of Honor should first adjust her train before accepting the bouquet to hold. This is most easily done by holding the train at points about (2) feet apart, and gently "shaking" the train (as if shaking a rug!) one good time, and it will fall beautifully in place.
in short, glamorized julalay haha!