Monday, November 13, 2006

too colorful

twas indeed too colorful twas almost blinding.

we were like kids chasing each other on the alleyways. you would wait up for me before we go to our classroom. you would then offer to carry my stuffs.

we were always sitted beside each other. we were always whispering or making signs that we appeared to have our own language.

though people around us suspected, no one really bothered to ask us.

how we bickered when i wasn't home and you called up. or i was wearing something you didn't approve of. or when you cut class again or did not have an assignment.

we even used to meet up every morning on the upper floors whenever we give the excuse that we are checking out the classroms before the flag ceremony. that became our sort of little playground. it was there where we talk about mundane or silly things like the tv show we watched the night before, or what we had for dinner, or how i quarelled with my mom again. it was there where we hurriedly do our assignements we've failed to do then.

it was there where once, you hugged me from behind and thanked me for being there when you needed me the most. and for being there when you just wanted to be with someone who wouldn't ask you for anything.i must have melted in your arms and realized how much that felt good and how much that meant to me then.

but then of course everyone else knew that you were with someone. she was a friend of mine and we would meet up once in a while along the corridors and in school activities. young as i was though it really didn't matter much to me. of course there would be times when i'd ask you about her but you chose not to talk about it. you always just want to talk about you or me or anyone else but what you had with her. everyone else around me told me to let them be or make him choose. but that didn't matter to me much. i just wanted to be with him and why else would we both deprive ourselves of our moments.

call me naive or blind or what. but i was content with it. after all i still had him at my beck and call.

came a time though when i chose to be with someone too. after all we were leaving high school and i sort of realized how much i've spent so much time with you i've failed to notice this guy who i've gotten close too. coincidentally he was your bestfriend and though on the one hand it was supposed to make things better for us all since we can all be together and have fun however things only became more complicated. phew! i didn't know loving and being in a relationship could be that hard.

that somehow took a toll in our friendships. you started to stay away from me telling me i should spend more time with your friend and not with him. friends told me that there became a strain in your friendship too. i dunno, everything just became too cloudy. i chose to back away from everyone else. guess it has always been my escape to just stay away from it all.

then came graduation...we didn't speak a long time then you gave me a letter. it was not just an ordinary letter. it was written in a binder filler and was more than 10 pages long. it had verses and poems and songs. and it told me how much i mean to you. but you didn't want to hurt your friend or complicate things even more. i remember crying while i was reading that damn thing. we were on a class outing then, i was on the beach and it was really hard to hide my tears.

oh well...a few days after you left for college. then i left too....

1 comment:

  1. Reminds me of a situation I went through before ... heartbreaking ...