when some trips are not to be meant as vacations

...but an eyeopener, there's really no room for ranting. the 2-hour bus ride from Tacloban to Ormoc made me think about a lot of things that has been going on.

i've been here a couple of days and it's but sad that i got here right after typhoon frank struck the country. i've seen how a lot of trees were uprooted in ateneo, how a lot of branches were still scattered all over the streets right before i left. but that was nothing compared to the shanties, the ricefields, the tall trees ravaged by the typhoon here in Leyte.

at least, the most these uprooted trees in the ateneo is litter the streets, or made us sad for the trees we've had around for a long time. but these ravages in leyte tell us that lives and livelihoods have been lost as well.

this makes me think of the past days when i've been wanting to scream unfair to the people who i felt have done me wrong. of how i felt i was neglected or taken for granted. i am reminded that each person has their own needs and priorities. that i am not really the center of the world. besides, i am special already, i need not be treated more special anymore, right?
i am reminded that there really is more to life than thinking of our own needs and caprices. sometimes it really is best to give back to the world once in a while.

i was jolted from my reverie when a bucket of water was splashed on our faces. i wanted to scream bloody murder but i realized that it's the feast of St. John the Baptist and here in the provinces, water splashing is still custom. i could not help but just welcome it and thank them in a way for giving life to my otherwise boring, depressing trip.

life indeed goes on in this part of the world. storms come and go but we should not really take it as some hindrance to continue smiling, celebrating life. oh well, i'm getting a bit mushy i need to back off already.

1218am

on the way home from one great drinking session with friends, i actually thought how nice it would be if the taxi i'm taking could just crash on some wall or some other car as it cruises swiftly along C5 in libis.

morbid, yeah, but at least i'll have the memory of my friends' incessant laughter ringing in my ears as i meet my eternal peace.

wanting for more...

they say a grand vacation should be enough to satisfy all those longings you've had in life. when you're all weary and tired from our day to day issues we can't help but dream of going away and just frolic in the sun or even the rain.

did just that a few days ago with my wacky, crazy friends and just had a blast.

nope, i'm not gonna say anything about our worthless tour operator anymore as he really isn't worth it. we're all but lucky that we are all good friends who could support each other even if he has managed to make monsters out of everyone of us. oh well.

the more than 13 hours of land trip to Pagudpud in Ilocos Norte may be too long but seeing all these just made it really worth it.

Saud Beach

Maira-ira Beach (Blue Lagoon)




sunset at the beach with great friends

capture, memorize each moment. at least once in our weary lives we had this moment. just us, and the stillness of the waters as the sun slowly bids adieu to us all.
ahh, bliss. such serenity, such calmness.

jumpshot at the bangui windmills

at Calle Crisologo in Vigan where time must have stood still as we gallivant around as if we owned every nook and cranny of it.

i'm indeed so glad we had it all, not just these photos but the memories that will forever be embedded in our hearts and minds. just the same, for most of our insatiable selves, i'd still want, badly need some more.

suma...

akalain nyo, sumasampung taon na din pala ako dito sa trabaho ko. waaah!

it just dawned on me how i must have "wasted" away all ten years being holed up where i am. looking back though, ten years, 6 countries, country-wide tours, hundreds of lives touched and recognized, with Xan in between isn't really so bad after all.

just that for some reason i still feel sad. empty. unfulfilled.

i still feel that a part of me should be somewhere else. doing something else.

haay, i've got all the travel perks, the luxury of coming to work no matter what time i'd wish to come. do whatever i want in my own sweet time. there's not enough monetary gains involved but it really shouldn't matter that much eh?

ten years, whoa! so what and where i am now after all those ten years???

plain grateful

indeed it makes me proud thinking and saying to people that i could make it on my own. that i've always been independent and no one could just tell me what and what not to do.

i may have shown sheer strength and composure amidst stressful times. i may have convinced myself and the rest of humanity that i am indeed patience and strength personified.

but i have to start admitting to myself and to everyone else that it's but a cover up.

in truth, i'm just one hell of a scared girl always wary about letting my defenses down.


wow, i didn't mean for it to come out that way. i initially wanted to start out this blogpost as some review for the movie Sex and the City which i saw a week ago. quite long overdue eh but a lof things happened lately and it just had to take a backseat.

but i realize now that more than anything else, my review for the film might still be able to come out while i get to thank all my friends, girls and boys alike out there.

it is indeed nice know that while these SATC girls, Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte got each other I myself have my own set of Mirandas and Charlottes, and Carries, and Samanthas in my midst too.

I'd like to take this chance to show my appreciation and gratitude to my friends back in grade school and high school namely Lala, Sugar, Den-den, Mitz, Inah, Lol, Jap, etc.

My college friend, Ron who's going to leave me soon too. *sniff-sniff*

My housemates Jenn, Andrea, Ai, Tsak, Andy, Juju, Mimi, Ellaine, Ally, Ian, hebe (Jen).

My kalandian Haze, Oliver (nils), Rene (lolo blue) Mark (darth), Flor , etc

Some people i barely know who sent me messages. and those i regularly bug online when i'm not feeling so good about myself.

My officemates esp. Phen, and Ramil (who came back and took a lot of load off my back yey!) and my boss for giving in to my demands haha!

Tsak, for the hugs and everything else.

Xan, my mom and my family for always giving me the roots to go back to anytime.

And for the entire universe for reminding me over and over again that i am loved, that i am important, that when all else seems to be not going great as i want them to be, i am assured that my back's being covered. that there will always be someone/twos/threes who can hold my hand and assure me that things will just be alright.

oh well, just watch the movie and get to bask at the feeling of being with good friends for all time.