can anyone stop the rain from falling??

i dread the rains...

it makes me feel all the more gloomy and melancholic.

i remember as a child when i'd be forced to take afternoon naps on rainy afternoons, i'd wake up crying for no reason at all. i'd feel all so sad and there seemed to be something so heavy deep inside of me. i'd be inconsolable. no matter how my mom would rock me back to sleep i'd still sob all the more.

and here in manila rain seems to be at its worst. i've never really seen rain pouring this hard. casting dark shadows everywhere. enveloping us all in gloom. i've never seen rain this angry. as if it wants to tear our roofs down. trying to shake us all out of our beings.

it is on rainy moments as this when i'd feel like pouring my heart out. i'd feel like wanting to wash off every crevice of my being with sweet salve. i could rock in sobs for no reason at all. it makes me want to retreat all the more from the world that gives us pain and misery.

and i feel for all the homeless kids out there. i hope they will be kept warm just the same. times like this make me think of them and wish them well. and i could do nothing but utter a silent prayer. because it is adding up to my gloom too.

i really hope the sun comes out soon.