falling...

"And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

yeah, i've watched the holiday twice this week. so sue me! but then again who can stop me from enjoying this film. after all it has given me a lot of hope and inspiration that my life will smell of sweet roses once again. or if not for me then at least for the people around me who hasn't loved or felt being loved much. i actually don't mind dragging more people to watch it with me. misery loves company, so does enlightenment or even pure enjoyment. corny yeah, but i do need corny sometimes. :D

and then there's jude law. who would not want to watch him. i know he's the sexiest man alive twice over but i've never really cared to notice him. i don't quite like his all too boyish and sunny appeal. but here it's different though. i love hearing and watching him talk. his lips and his lisp is but adorable. hell yeah, am smitten. and yeah, it would be entirely hard for me to find someone new with jude (close kami eh!) as some benchmark. but who cares. this girl can dream, ayt!

What Color is Your Aura?

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it! The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

So What Are You?

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

**This is the exact result i had when i took this same test like 10 years ago...

a violent whisper

i am currently loving this now, 747 by Kent. i didn't know it came out way back 1999 hehe...tnx to my pexfriend who led me to a multiply friend for the download. ;) am kinda looking for the Swedish version though. ;)

747
Kent
Singingfool.com

changes...

yeah, i've changed the appearance of my blog. this is not yet final, i actually want something more sinister, more mysterious. just that i don't know how to change the backgrounds other than the templates available in blogger. hmmm, i'll keep searchin and studying.

care to give me any ideas? tnx!!

can't take my eyes off you...

i must be having my own post valentine blues...
i was about to sleep last night when i heard blower's daughter by damien rice playing on the radio. i stood up, turned up the volume and just listened to it in the darkness. some songs just do that to me. i sit transfixed as i drink up the melodies and the lyrics.
i've watched closer where this movie came from and i could still recall alice's (natalie portman) mystique smile. but then again, i get vivid images of some young man spurned.




ahh, such a haunting song about unrequitted love....

but then again the girl said:

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

so maybe there's still hope huh???

(oh, indulge me please!!!:D )

wanting to write again

i used to write a lot. and i mean a lot. i've some poems and verses and short stories and anecdotes hell even slogans buried somewhere. but that was a decade ago. i stopped just after having attended my first national writing workshop.

well, twas a great experience, met a lot of co-old souls in there. just could not forget that b*tch who told me i should not write anymore. argh! i could not exactly remember what it was she was ranting about. we we're discussing a poem of mine then and i guess she did not like my answer to her grilling so she just retorted with a resounding "then you shouldn't write at all!" i've never been mortified in my life. my fellows were as shocked too.

oh well, that was my first and last workshop. and though i've written a few scratches here and there i've never dreamed of being published anymore. i guess my muse just left me since then. i hope she's happy where she is now.

oh, i just felt nostalgic right after having seen music and lyrics. tis a very heartwarming love story but more than anything else it just reminded me of those times when i was always inspired and words and thoughts would just come flowing in and before i knew it i've created something lyrical already.



back to the movie though. had so much fun watching hugh grant in all his sexy glory shaking his booty! yeah, he's kinda getting old but sexy just the same. ;)

and drew barrymore, minus a few pounds here is always a sweetheart. :D

it's totally a feel good movie with all the happy elements of goodlooking people falling for each other amidst the inspiration of music and err lyrics or beautiful verses. and though there were lil conflicts they still ended up kissing and almost making out during a stage performance, how cool can that get. *okay*

ironically though if there's anything i've learned from it, must be that "life is not a fairy tale, deal with it!" yeah, really realistic words for someone like me who still believes in happy endings and that someday i could have my muse back and be inspired again and could live happily ever after.

*sigh*

currently replaying...

kinda craving for great expectations once again but i didn't have my cd with me, darn. thank god for you tube though. was able to find some clips which kinda fed my longing. yeah, i've watched this movie for the nth time and i just love it everytime the scenes are played over and over again as if i'm seeing it for the first time. and boy, i've even memorized some lines hehe...



the soundtrack is good too. ethan hawke, my all time hunk acts, though i don't really like gwyneth, she's but gorgeous in here, i love the story, robert de niro, the late great ms. anne bancroft, the production, the location, the support cast, everything, and notice that all their clothes are in different shades of green. ;)

sigh...

any movie you'd also love watching over and over again?

walk this earth alone
lauren christie
You're in the doors that keep revolving
The sirens that keep screaming
You're in the flashing of the headlights
The things that I'm believing

You're in the water that I'm drinking
the sound of 911
The walls that protect me
From the damage that you've done
In this world you are with me

But I walk this earth alone
But all I've eve known
Is you are right beside me
If I love you for a day
You'll blow my life away
Could I leave you behind me

You're in the crashing of the windows
The angels 'round the ceiling
You're in the fire in my belly
The fucked up way I'm feeling

You're in the warning on the label
The pills that dissapear
The whines as I'm talking
The words you'll never hear
In this world you are with me

But I walk this earth alone
But all I've eve known
Is you are right beside me
If I love you for a day
You'll blow my life away
Could I leave you behind me

Could I leave you behind me...

happiness

...is seeing my Xan enjoying himself this much. *love*

Love Rage

i went to the UP fair last night with some of my pex friends and my officemates. it's been a while since I've been there and i remember having enjoyed my visits in the previous years.

well, first of all my RANTS:

* the stalls we're not as interesting as before. there were mostly food stalls and tiangge which sells shirts as expensive as P200 tsk tsk.

*there was no manghuhula. we would have wanted to have our palms read. or at least someone who was into tarot cards, runes, bolang kristal, whatever. tsk tsk...

* there was no booze!! i used to enjoy the 10 peso mixed drinks they had, or at least the P20 beer in can and enjoy the party really hard. but then again maybe twas just for our safety. ;)

* i didn't know most of the bands. i got bored and sleepy in between the sets of those more known bands. darn i feel so ancient.

* we were made to exit the opposite way where the grass was wet and there even were puddles and quite a big canal to jump over. duh!

well, newei here's my RAVES:

*twas really glad that I finally got to see Up Dharma Down perform live. I've their cd back home which i would play over and over again. armie, the vocalist, really has a very powerful voice. And yeah, i was able to record the two songs they performed on my cell phone. ;)

*there was a lot of shawarma food stalls and i kinda missed that food hehehe...

* i was able to buy this cellphone ornament which is reminiscent of my niece's baby nucti which she bought all the way from NY but got lost when she got here in Manila. i'm not so sure if she'll like this but i can use this for now.









* tuesday vargas rocks!!!!yeah, she's a good enough singer pala. raspy voice huh, and i love her quips:

first she asked the crowd:

nasaan ang mga virgins? taas kamay ang mga virgins!!"
(audience raises hands)
tuesday: PAK YU!!!!! (lol)

then she said:

para sa mga nagmamahalan, mga boy and girl, M to M, G to G, bi-curious to bi- curious, sa inyong lahat

mga PAKSHET KAYO!!!

hahahah can't really help but laugh!!

then after singin her last song, she invited everyone to their website and for everyone to buy their album too (so sorry, i forgot the name of their bad, my bad!)

" bumili po kayo ng album namin sa mga inde pa nakakabili. pwede rin download. kung wala kayong pera eh di PIRATED!!!"

loka-lokang babae!! haay, she really woke me up hehehe....

*and of course there was 6cyclemind who's rendition of prinsesa was really great. raymond marasigan of sandwich was good too. and bamboo band of course. but then yeah, it's still tuesday vargas for me *okay*

oh well, we left shortly after bamboo played and went straight to cantina for some booze. that was about 2am. we downed about a couple of bottles each while we talked about love and sex and short time and fubu and about not going to church every sunday. hahaha i've such great company. we left around 4am kse may prayer meeting pa daw the following day ang kasama ko. lol.

had such a great time. tnx a lot to my beloved UGAT family. :D

ikaw, baka naman you were there too pala???

happy singles' day!!

yeah, this day is not just for lovers huh! let's just all celebrate love whoever we are with. ;)

and today is my Xan's 13th month birthday too and he'll be more than happy to celebrate it with his best buddy jollibee hahaha!

a weekend with tori

turned out i had to stay home again for the weekend. i've a "lakad" (for lack of a better term) which was once again rescheduled. but what the heck, am a resilient kiddo after all. no need to sulk in one corner huh! (yeah right)

i took the time to surf and surf and i realized am missing tori once more. my love for tori go back a long long time ago when a friend of mine introduced me to her pretty good year song so i bought the under the pink album. and i fell in love instantly i started buying her next ones and even backtracked on the previously released albums. i even had a lot of print outs of her pics and lyrics and life story, everything about her which i could get my hands on.



i also asked some friends abroad to get me singles of her which i couldn't fine here. yeah, i've met some rare friends too all because we worship the same goddess.

when neil gaiman came to the country and had schedules for a book signing i and my good friend JB took the time off to line up just for the autographs. never mind if we had to line up for a freakin 6 hours. and of course, i let him sign my Death and The High Cost of Living comic book only because, well of course, tori wrote the introduction ehe! and yeah, all i said to him was "pls, next time bring tori here with you!" hehehe i felt so ashamed of myself much later having realized what i just did! anyway you can review the full story here.



well anyway, i found myself itching for mp3s of here as most of my files are in my computer back home. i was fortunate enough to have found the site www.hereinmyhead.com where i could download almost all the tori hits i could find. yi-ha! so if you view my multiply account you can hear my goddess lulling you to a fantastic consciousness you never knew existed.

as if i was not ecstatic enough i woke up this early morning with a text message from my sister saying that she has finally found me the Tales of a Librarian double cd which i've been wanting for so long.

haaay, this is the layp!

sunday delight

after visiting Gesu (turned out there's no mass for today) i walked all the way to gate 2 bent on getting myself a chicken joy. hell, nothin beats some familar food sometimes. as i walked up the overpass though i saw the red big sign which reminded me of some mouth watering buttery creamy mashed potatoes so i didn't hesitate and went to red ribbon instead. jollibee can always wait.

such a great Sunday just the same. ;)

bloggin love

i've never really known what real love is all about. yeah, i'm the kind of person who loves to be in love all the time. but it's merely just the notion of being thought of and being able to think of someone in a different light. the kind of love that makes you giddy with excitement just with the thought of seeing the person.

in school we were even introduced to scott peck who gave us his own definition of love being not just a feeling but a decision. that love becomes love when you decide to stay with the person even when the sparks have gone out and the excitement has died.

i'm afraid though that i never got into experiencing that kind of love. or i chose not to love that way anyway. love has not been so good to me. i only ended up hurting and hating.

but then when i had my son i knew what love is all about. it's the kind of feeling that brings tears in your eyes just looking at that helpless newborn longing for your touch. it dispells all that notion of love being difficult and hurting and even cruel. it's like falling in love at first sight. falling in love all over again. falling in love all day everyday.



forgive me, but yeah. am back to being in love once again. so great that you'd see the sparkles in my eyes just like that.

oh, look!!!

(photo courtesy of www.pinkisthenewblog.com)


while at it, i'd like to copy this one from my email:

Hotline Opens to Counsel Heartbroken Potter Fans
Lifestyle
A British book retailer plans to set up a counseling hotline for all heartbroken fans of Harry Potter, who is going to die in the much awaited next book.

The seventh and final book of J. K. Rowling includes the death of the popular character.

It is already topping the charts at Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com, and a deluxe edition of the book is second despite a hefty pricetag.

counseling, my foot!! o sya, then lemme just offer the services of my very own home then for your psychoemotional needs. we do specialize in crisis counseling anyway. har-har!

the weekend that was

i kinda had a good enough weekend...quite interesting but not that great. newei, here's a few recap.:

1. had the luxury of waking up late...yeah, sleep is such a heavenly thing for me to do. i love to sleep! and since i've "lived" here in the office i could not sleep till late anymore. so this weekend i took my time and woke up like past 12 heheh...

2. i later went to the salon and had my toe nails done. had it painted red. landi!!!!


3. later that afternoon i got to meet some new friends from pex singles' couch. met up with miss vb, my nick relative and had coffee at bo's. we had quite a chitchat as we waited for santo and naru to arrive. i have been reading this cutesy story at pex titled welcome to my life and is so touched by it that i brought them to meat shop, were one of the scenes actually took place. however, my images of it were shattered because, they have just transferred to a different location. and though it was but near, the service seemed to have gone back to a dry run. we waited for almost an hour for our food. we were hungry and we had to wait a long time even if we only asked for additional bowls or spoons. drat! our friend santo felt compensated for their incompetence though by taking home a bowl and a tissue holder. :p

4. that night, i was able to track down a long lost friend via friendster. i met gen like 9 years ago during a national writers workshop held in iligan. she hails from antique.we had crazy times. i remember vividly, us young girls then, lounging at the hotel rooftop singing along with tori amos, lost in the melodies and drift of her songs. gen considers us all as "old souls" don't exactly know what it means but i sense something really meaningful and beautiful about it. i'm set to meet her for coffee soon. yey!

5. i went to mass that sunday morning, my first in ages. i still felt peaceful and reflective in there. i've seen a few college friends and boy how i envied those who were with their families. i've always loved the sight of young ladies hugging their dads and every child kissing their parents while wishing them "peace". never fails to melt my heart.


6. after mass i went out of the campus to eat and later sought a net cafe where i hope to see Xan on webcam. unfortunately Xan was asleep, and they had trouble back home connecting to ym. darn it again.

7. i felt really frustrated i wanna kick myself hard. you see, i was hoping i'd get to go out with a friend that sunday. we were supposed to watch a movie. the prospect of being able to go out and see him again actually excited me. however, i didn't hear from him. no text, no nothing. i remembered praying hard that saturday night for just one text message. i don't care if it wasn't pushing through. i just wanted to know instead of waiting for forever. i just hate it so much when i expect. kaya nga i would always remind myself, as said in The Joy Luck Club, "never expect, only hope!". sometimes i wish i could not be that bratty anymore. twas glad though that i still have some ym friends. friends who quizzed me about it only to laugh at me and later comfort me. some friends huh! couldn't really blame them. i found it laughable too. oh well, the "date" never took place. and i might reprimand him about it the next day, or not. i dunno.

8. because of some much ill feelings, i opted to order food at mcdonald's and ended up bingeing on a big mac, large fries and strawberry float. yum!

oh well, i'll pray once more tonight that i'll have a more peaceful disposition for the week to come.

so how was your week?

oh what a hottie!!!

i gawked and gasped and drooled! never mind if he's still but a kid. but my oh my, he's the oh-so innocent looking daniel radcliff no more!


















here's more:







sigh. i'm never gonna watch Harry Potter the same way again....*blush*