while i was away

i didn't have a celphone the entire two weeks that i was in Japan. theirs is a different technology anyway, one would need a quadband phone so that international roaming could work. i brought my old N73 with me but in our haste i failed to turn on my roaming services just the same hehehe...

i didn't know that i could actually miss out on a lot of things in that two weeks. i was almost online but our SMS world is much more rich in terms of getting info, right?

i called up my mom and learned about two incidents which gave me mixed reactions.

the bad incident first:

one nephew has been staying with me for the past 3 weeks, going on a month. well, it is not in my character to 'adopt" anyone in my little home especially with how claustrophobic and territorial i could get. i agreed for a mere one week though because i am still after all, uhm, family oriented. well anyway, he's still in my home having a fun time maybe in dwelling in my own place, tsk, tsk...okay, but that is not the bad incident.

about a week after i left for japan, my mom reportedly received a text message from his friend saying that he's been admitted at St. Luke's Hospital for the past two days due to food poisoning. my mom then was conducting a seminar in the province, she had to take a break and almost felt faint. i know that my mom has a heart condition. just some backgrounder, i remember back then when my parents would fight, i would run to my mom's side when i'd see her crying and start caressing her chest, feeling her heart so that nothing bad would happen to her. i don't really know what that condition is but i've been told about it as a kid.

all my mom knew then was that i was out of the country and her eldest grandson is lying in some hospital for days, alone. the seminar she conducted had to stop, she felt uneasy and they opted to just all pray for his safety.

when my mom got home she said they called up my friends in manila to check out on him.

but here's the real story. he was indeed suffering from fever and had been vomiting like crazy that i couldn't sleep even if i just came from a long travel and have been suffering from vertigo the past days. i suspected something was utterly wrong.

what he told me though was that yes, he got sick. but nope, he was never admitted in the hospital. he did go to St. Luke's for a check up because apparently he had been drinking tap water from my faucet. and that water was contaminated so he had to undergo antibiotic therapy as prescribed by the doctor.

the text message actually started out as a prank passed on from one of his friends who reached another gullible friend who then passed it on to my mom. my poor mom panicked and yes, almost lost her mind. jeez!

the better incident though is that yes, my older brother is finally getting married!

a day after i arrived he texted me asking how soon i can go home for my gown fitting. they are getting married and i'm going to be the maid of honor, yey!

this wedding news has been going on for sometime now but i never knew it could be so soon.

i must have sent him a barrage of questions asking him when, what motif, where, etc. all he said was it's going to be on the April 18th. he'll tell me about the other details after they finish with the popcom seminar they were attending that day, whoa!

so i called home and ask my mom. ang sagot pa niya eh, "bakit, di mo ba alam? bakit naman kasi ang tagal mo sa Japan?"

hahaha, kasalanan ko pa.

what happened daw was, last feb. 14 they all trooped down to the girl's house for the pamamanhikan. comedy daw sabi ng mom ko because she was told told to lead and she didn't know what to do then that all they did most of the time was pray. well what can we expect from my mom who is a devout church worker hehehe...

i texted my brother and told him Xan should be the ring bearer.

kaso ayaw niya kasi baka daw itakbo o pagulungin sa sahig ang mga singsing. he is assigned as the bible bearer instead though so it won't matter much in case he decides to just sit down on the aisle and read the bible.

i am excited, this is going to be one major stage mommy moment for me hehehe...

and yes, i can finally wear a gown again. i hope i'll have enough time to start on a good diet and prettify wehehehe...

oh wow, i din't know how a lot of major things could actually happen in two weeks, and i always hate being out of the loop especially when it concerns my family and my loved ones.

our days are truly hi tech already. anyone and everyone is just a text and /or buzz away.

distance can be a bitch but of course we all know that with good communication it can always be transcended.

genki desu ka?

i am a bit claustrophobic. i would tend to panic and experience shortness of breath whenever i am in enclosed places like elevators and small rooms without windows.

but this is one test i have to try it out myself. i'm not getting any younger, i know there are things that i must try to slowly overcome. yi-ha!



in this temple in Nara, i would have to creep and pass this tiny hole carved on some tree. passing through will suppose to make me feel genki or stronger and wiser, so pass through i did.



going, going...



i wish i hadn't eaten that much that morning, and peeled off some of my clothes as well...




so it won't appear that i panicked a bit and was scared about getting stuck half way, i had to smile for the camera.




genki desu ka?

sou desu, sou desu!

kampai!!!


( mali ata nihonggo ko, pero bahala na. hehehe....)

alone in tokyo

my companion left tonight leaving me by my lonesome. he has to to get home earlier to edit the videos, I on the other hand have to stay longer and interview more people. i will have to go back to Osaka this weekend as it's the only time when most of our fellow Pinoys are available.

i love this alone time though. i want to explore this place more. by myself.

it can get pretty lonely though. i went to this restaurant and saw mostly older males by their lonesome. maybe the single ladies are in the other side of town.


the tables are mostly for one or two persons, and some have counters where one can just stand and eat. fast. alone. there's nothing much that could be heard except for the slurping sound of everyone who is enjoying there meal. i am used to eating my food slowly but here you have to eat fast and noisily indicating that you are truly enjoying your food.




then you have to return your tray to the counter and leave your table clean for the next person to use. nice and quick.

i walked back to the hotel thinking how lonesome their lives must be. i remember reading this story from Paulo Coellho about this Japanese guy who was found dead in his apartment 20 years later. yup, 20 years. he's been gone for 20 long years and no one really looked for him or noticed that he's been gone. his ex-wife didn't bother contacting or looked for him after their divorce. his office mates and friends thought he just left his job and skipped town. he was found dead in his pajamas and the police who found him thought that he must have died in his sleep. must be peaceful perhaps. but just the same, 20 years and no one bothered to look for him or at least asked anyone how he must have been.

i've forgotten the title of that short story, i think it's from his Flowing Like a River book. i've basically forgotten the other details. but that lonesome thought just makes me wanna weep. and say a prayer for him if indeed it's a true story. or pray just the same for everyone who is lonely out there.

it is a beautiful world. i am blessed. i have my family. i have my friends and my loved ones. and i would always want to be grateful for all of that.

i may be alone now but at least i don't want to feel lonely. hey, i'm just a buzz away huh!

tomorrow is another day. i have a few reports to make. i still feel feverish and i left my medicine box back in osaka. and the drugstores here don't seem to have OTC medicines. but i don't wanna care. there's still a lot to see. the possibilities are endless. everything is just a train ride and more walks away.

life is beautiful. i'm glad i am here. and i'm glad to be here for the people that i care for.

uhm, i didn't mean to make this blogpost appear too pensive, but oh well. =)

and i am extra grateful too that there's a starbucks in my neighborhood. i am never really far from home eh!

pampainit ng katawan

(plays Kenny G's Sillhouette in the backround)

okay, let's just say i actually got what i asked for.

didn't i wish that there would be something that could actually make us feel hot? uhm, not the kinky kind?

well, yup, the Japs have it!

a Pinay just told us that there's some patch ala salonpas only thicker and broader that we could stick on our inner clothes and voila, we'll have some sort of personal heater!

works wonders really. i placed one on my back and the heat could spread through the entire back area making it feel comfortable.

masasabi ko talagang, "mommy, i feel hot!"

pero yeah, namnamin ko na din ito. mamimiss ko din ito pag uwi ko sa Pilipinas kong mahal na tiyak summer na summer na ngayon.

it dropped to about 4 degrees centigrade tonight and could get colder in the days to come so yey for this!

short tales from the land of the rising sun

arrived here in Osaka at past 9pm last night. we knew it was going to be cold but i didn't realize it was freezer cold. but we were told that Tokyo will be much colder, yay.

i somehow managed to get used to it and i'm actually loving it now. just no rains please, it rained tonight and it became even colder.

*********************

i love Japan, i've always loved their culture. i love how polite their people are and even if they don't speak that much English they will do all they can to help you even if it means looking like crazy with all those hand movements ...

everything here is almost compartmentalized, small rooms, small bathrooms but will all the essentials organized neatly and in an orderly manner.

right now, i am most amazed with my bathroom and the, uhm, bowl.


i feel like a kid experimenting with all those buttons haha!

my bathroom with my half sized tub. buti na lang half-sized din ako haha!

**************************

was able to go to Denden Town, their local version of Akihabara (Tokyo). it has rows and rows of electronics and gadgets and comic book stores and stuff and games and all those manga shops, phew!

i was able to get myself these for barely 10,000.00 PhP all in!


the camera has a 4 gig memory card, btw!

******************************

i will start working tomorrow when our Filipino contacts become available for our interviews. and hopefully this time they can tour us around most tourist spots here in Osaka. i wish to see more temples and cultural places next time.

more stories coming up then.

Miss Mc Flurry.

i got my Japan visa this morning and i'm all set to go tomorrow, well a little. i still haven't changed my peso to either dollars or yen. i need to drop by megamall before my flight to pick up my insurance card which i had processed this afternoon hihi.

i wouldn't know yet if i'm prepared for the cold, they say it's 4-6 C out there. i wasn't able to buy myself a winter jacket because i could not find one in Surplus anymore. i was eyeing this North Face one but it's pretty hefty at 12k kahit na may sale, ulk!

oh well, i've sent my SOS to our Japan contact to lend me a jacket just in case my 3-4 layers won't suffice. sana lang kasi may mag imbento ng pill na pampainit. and oh, i'm not even being kinky here.

i have prepared our day to day itinerary and yes it's all work. no turista entry in there. it's my first time in Osaka but my second time in Tokyo so i would like to consider each place, each experience as pang turista already.

i have sent emails to our Filipino friends in there and i am overwhelmed by their excitement and hospitality already. i am looking forward to a fun, fun trip. everything in there is expensive that we were adviced to bring cup noodles but sorry, i'm just not the instameal type. hopefully, we will be well-fed there by our friends yi-ha! otherwise it's going to be 7-11's rice meals and sandwiches for me.

when i come back here on the 25th i will have to immediately report to our screening committee for the results of my interviews and validation.

on the 26th we will have our Regional Awarding ceremony for our domestic search.

i hope it won't be too much if i could ask for a spa break. well, okay, a pedicure will suffice.

i still don't know what to wear on that event. i hope my not-that-weary smile will carry me through.

on the 27th we will have to fly for Cebu for the awarding ceremonies of our finalists from Mindanao and Visayas. i hope everything that i've worked for will work out on its own. i'm just an email away anyway for the final preparations.

on March 1 we will be in Bohol, for...wala lang. beach bum.

papapatayin ako sa lamig ng dalawang linggo at ibibilad sa araw pag uwi. nice, nice!

we will be back in Manila on the 3rd, suntanned but hopefully not burned.

when this all over i just wish i could go home and be with Xan for a week or two. please.
i called him up a while ago and he was just shouting, "mommy, mommy, bye!"

and in the flurry of things, i just can't help but stop and think and pray that you'll somehow have that peace of mind bit by itty bit. but don't rush. take your time. it isn't called a process for nothing.

beauty in despair

what was running on my mind while we trudged that scenic yet all too wearisome path to Pinatubo...

why am i doing this?

i'm doing this not because i just want to test my limits, to know if i can still take this arduous trek, to know if my bones can still carry me through.

i am doing this also for the victims, for everyone whose cries and pains once reverberated the towns of Zambales and around it during its eruption. for those whose lives and livelihood perished all because of this epic tragedy.





i pray hoping that in His own perfect time, they will finally make peace with Him. that they be able to transcend the woes and see life with a better perspective.


it was almost blasphemous exclaiming how wonderful, wonderful the crater lake looks now with its waters in deep hues of blues and greens and the towering mountains around it but it is but the plain truth. there is an immense Being out there who knows exactly what He is doing and could only prove to everyone that there is still beauty even in despair.

and although my own physical weariness could not compare to your grief and sadness at this very moment i pray that i could at least make you feel how i am one with you in this present debacle.

i must have said my constant prayers of hope and faith that we may continue to believe and will never lose that sense of wonder in the beauty of things. life might be hard. the path we have to trudge on may be rocky and seemingly impassable. but it can't be all that. life and love has to go on. and we can see it bloom anywhere around us. even in the most unexpected of places and circumstances.

can i just breathe?

January just ended...it's only been the first quarter and i'm getting so drained already. andami dami dami naman kasing issues!

what hurts me the most really is that i miss the comfort of my own home. i miss sitting in the darkness with my music in full blast and just think or cry my heart out. and i can't do that anymore now. why can't they understand me? it is my only solace.

and i will be travelling again. and i don't know how to welcome the cold waether there. i will be in the company of strangers. i will be in some foreign land and i dunno why i'm having so many bleak images now.

darn it, i'm not in the mood. and it's not helping that concerns i have to address to are piling up. tasks that i'm not even responsible for are being entrusted to me.

sigh. i guess this is what growing up, growing old is really all about. fine!