killer questions

the past few months i've been tasked to travel all over the country and meet our prospective "bayanis". having done this for years i no longer have the desire to take down notes, study their profiles, etc...i prefer to just head on, meet them and ask questions along the way. true enough, it's easier to just know them and let them tell me their stories compared to reading their profiles (tamad lang talaga ehe!)..and i get different reactions...most of them get the jitters as soon as they see me setting up my video cam...well, i'm always dressed casually, in shorts/cargoes/jeans, tshirt and my tsinelas...most often they'd feel relax seeing an amateur looking me :p...but as soon as they see my camera they'd hush up and believe that everything's for real hahaha!

then different stories come up, most of them are sincere, some prefer to brag..but i consider it a scoop whenever i'd get to make someone cry. how i relish this moment, i'd slowly pan then focus on their crying faces...full close-up! mean me...thank God they don't ask me to review their clips otherwise they'd get to se themselves with puffy noses and tear stricken eyes hehehe...

and what makes them cry? my killer questions:

1. What is your motivation in helping others?
2. what do you get out of it?

i dunno, i really don't know what's with the questions that makes them first stare at a distance then maybe feel some lump on their throats..then tears start to well up..i don't know...it still baffles me...thus i'd get muffled replies of "it's my dedication" "my calling", "my happiness"...haaay, then why cry???

beats me!!!

PS..oh yeah, some would then ask me, "mam, sang channel at anong oras po namin mapapanood yang video?"

well, the mean me will right away reply "ay sorry po, sa tv lang namin mapapanood yan eh" hehehe...

oral invasion

i had my trip to the dentist yesterday, and since it was my first after sometime i had to stay longer haha! aside from the prophylaxis i had to have fillings on 9 of my teeth waah! and one is subject for extraction haay...i hate dental visits the mosts. though while sitting there on the chair i recalled i've been on an operating table twice anyway and i should have been kinda immune to the fear already...it helped too that my dentist was a high school classmate, a kabarkada, a kainuman...at least i didn't get a lot of sermon about what and what not to do with regards to oral care...and yeah, i get to have a huge discount too yey!

but i'm due for a couple more visits the next week...oh well...

raging against the waters

yeah, one of my dream trip is fulfilled!!! finally went white water rafting in Cagayan de Oro...i once dreamed of making it to Kalinga's Chico River a couple of years ago. i already signed up till i found out i was carrying Xan pala, yun i had to back out tsk tsk...but yeah, i made it!!!!

it was quite an adventure especially since my over 60 mom came with us, while my bro chickened out hahaha! what was planned as a trip with friends turned out to be a family affair as they each backed out due to whatever reasons they had hmpf! but all's well that ends well..we each had a great time nevermind if we almost fell off the waters, or we we're too sunburned from the more than 3 hours paddling out there in the open, or had body aches all over from rowing and fighting off the raging waters. but no, no, i'm never complaining.

compared to climbing a mountain, this river actually had 14 challenging rapids we had to pass through. i'm telling you, it can be multiple orgasmic nyahahaha!

now i'm really looking forward to that one in Chico River! ;)

detaching...

i lost my shades up there in the mountains of Bukidnon..i don't exactly remember when or how, i just woke up the following morning and realized i couldn't find it among my stuffs.

and about that time too, our host was asking me if i could speak to the kids for their weekly convocation and inspire them about the value of education and everything else they were having. duh! how could i inspire them? how would i know what to say when i was too preoccupied with my loss? and i only had several minutes to gather my thoughts. hmpf!

so i guess i ended up ranting to the kids hehe...

"i just lost my shades. it's a kenneth cole which my sister gave me all the way from New York. do you know where New York is? i could rant here all i want but seeing your blank faces i realize you could never understand me enough. it's not that i'm belittling you. in fact, i envy you...i admire you for not having too much attachment with material things. what you have here is a paradise. you wake up each morning and marvel at the beauty around you, which i had to climb so high up just to experience too. phew! i almost fainted coming up here and asked myself so many times why i have to do this, i am never a mountain person. i cannot understand the idea why we have to pant and almost lose our breath just to get here. why can't we ride up any vehicle and make it easier for everyone to see? and along the way i have to lose my precious shades!"

i must not have made sense in there hehe..so i guess i just had to shift to feeling noble, throwing off words which could hopefully inspire hahaha!

but as i've told the kids, we are the ones who needed inspiration the most. we the city girls and guys who've become all too weary of the world out there. we cling on too much on material things if only to fill ourselves up of things we would forever crave as contentment and happiness. they, the kids have simpler lives, simpler peasures..we don't. we whine and rant about the littlest of disappointments. while they only have to work and study a little and everything else as free education, ample food, the wonders of nature, is given for free. sigh. if only we've had these things a long time ago then maybe we won't have to crave for more.

we won't have to cling on to insignificant things as a pair of shades.

at least i still have my limbs, my hopes, my life.

and i can always just ask my sis to give me another pair again hahaha.

otherwise i can always buy another disposable one sa tabi-tabi for like 50-75 bucks :P

i've nothing against mountains...

Valencia, Bukidnon

but darn it..it's just way too high! imagine riding on a high up blue jeep for like 2 hours over rough roads, traversing dry riverbeds and streams, and hiking up 2 hours more...waah!

i almost fainted way up, i had to stop once in a while to catch my breath, text my friends, and look back and just have to enjoy the view phew!

and as i told my friends, "i'd rather have sex and come many times over than climb this mountain and reach the peak only once. wahahaha!

oops, no offense meant to my mountaineering friends hehehe...

but yeah, it's a paradise way up there. was able to visit a high school only for the lumads, or the native tribes in bukidnon. somehow i'm glad i made it up there. at least, i'm not that old and weak not to make it up there. bleh!

hmmm...

i have interviewed the most noble persons, heard the most inspiring words, seen the most scenic places, and yet i still feel tired. how did i become this jaded and numb???

one freaky long weekend

i'm doin this amidst all the stuff i have to pack. am leavin again in a couple of days and though i know i have to be excited i still feel somehow listless. oh well, trust me for not being able to see the best in even the greatest of things. there's always a but, a mar on what could be an almost perfect event. sigh.

well let me get back to the past days i've gone through anyway...maybe you'll get to understand things better. or maybe i'll get to appreciate life more hahahay...

it's been quite a long weekend. and though i could have the choice of spending it outside partying with friends and acquaintances i'd still find myself going back to the hollowed halls which is our office.

oh well, am only describing what could have been a great event of a series of holidays and am already ranting hahahah!

sorry, this could be PMS talking out loud. i've been cramping so bad the past days. sometimes i wish i could just stick out some sore thumb up my "throat" and let it just gush out. some graphics huh! :lol:

last friday, i went out with some 30 something people whom i've met for the first time. and oh, sorry but i suddenly felt so old. oops, i hope they don't get to read this hehehehe...a friend of mine who i invited and was not even on his 30s asked me where i felt i should belong. i told him kse i felt so old being with the other group which is composed mostly of "kids" and here i am still whining that these people "my age" makes me feel out of place just the same wahahaha! errr, maybe am still in denial that i am indeed old? or maybe because i just feel i look so young being sitted alongside them (kapal! hehe) or maybe because i feel i still haven't accomplished much compared to most people my age? (hmmm, this is the bitter me talkin out i guess). well, anyway the group's tagline happens to be In your 30s? Still single? How Come? well whoever wrote that thread must be thinking hard why she's still single too and is hoping to get consolation from others who are in the same situation as she is. but most of us in the group bothered not to tackle the "how come?" part. kebs na lang...why do we have to wrack our brains trying to answer that anyway. but then again i have Xan already, why bother with it anyway. i realized i could be attached now for all i care had i opted to...nah, awat na..i would not want to go through that again. sigh...

the discussions in the group tackled careers, "close up moments" (whatever that is), and the dreaded lovelives. but then it was because of more career talks when discussions became sort of heated for the guys. i didn't exactly get it, my head was swimming in beer already heheh..we went home around 4am that day and oh, that left more thoughts for me to face the morning after. hmmm...

was still left with a couple more days then to laze and hopefully not wallow anymore. great though that i discovered this online radio which made me listen to old rock alternative tracks i haven't listened to in years. imagine me being able to listen to nirvana's heartshaped box, everclear's sta. monica, and more metallica and guns and roses and pearl jam which are not yet on my playlist?!! great god indeed! now i can't help but listen to it all day long yey!

i've also discovered some bootlegs of tori amos' latest album as stated on my previous blog entry heheh...i asked a friend to download it for me. i emailed my sis to get me the special edition package, i hope they could deliver waaah!. am such a toriphile :P

hmm, so these stuff are what made me glued on the pc the past days, other than my seemingly debilitating PMS. i'd rather stay here than go out for coffee. i'd rather order food than go get them myself. i'd rather sit here than take my shower hahahaha!

and now back to packing. sigh. this is the last leg of my trip. i''l be off to bukidnon then iligan. yey! i've just learned that there's another bundok trip in bukidnon that if it rains we'd have to walk for two hours waaah! and we'll be passing through CdO and i hope to get into white water rafting yey! and oh, i've my upcoming period to face pala, haay...bahala na.

and of course i'll be home in iligan and spend QT with my Xan. more yey!!! and though i have to interview like 4 people there i hope to be lugging Xan around so i won't have to part ways with him ever. weeeeh!

then i'll have to come back here again. for a while. this is when things become tricky. i'll be staying here for a while. no more trips. no where else to go to. that means i'll be here in the freakin office for the next 24/7 waaaah! how can i face that?? even if it's still quite far away i still dread thinkin that :(

and yeah, there's the career option to think of, finally. haven't i told you? i wanna leave this job soon! yeah, i intend to do a rico blanco of sorts. leave my job which i've had the past 9 years. it's gonna be hard. i don't even know how to start. or should i really go through it? or what. ssshhh, don't tell anyone.

well, newei, let me finish packing and just get on with the present. leaping off, thinking ahead too much most often spoils the fun d ba?!
hope you had a great weekend too.

oopps, this is quite a freaky long post too! :D

this one's a real surprise!

i was looking for tori amos rendition of Niravana's Smells Like Teen Spirit but found this one instead. My mom should be proud!! :D

my goddess is back!

...or i've gotten this news quite late???

just learned that tori amos just released her new album called american doll posse. waaah, i have to have it!!!!

help me organize my thoughts

LIKE A STONE
Audioslave
Singingfool.com

haay, so many things goin on in my head..i just wanna reminisce for now and see someone utterly guwapo and sexy on muy blog. ;)

Rico is not with Rivermaya anymore

Dear friends, i am no longer with the band and management of rivermaya. I have been with the group from the start, and after 14 great years, I am now quite excited about the chance to finally do other things with my life, pursue endeavors outside of the entertainment spotlight. This is a desire I have made known to my group as early as 2005 and have already postponed several times. I will surely miss the music and the fans and will always cherish the experience. I hope you will continue supporting the group and the whole of opm. My work is done. Thank you for all your incredible love and support.

Rico Blanco (http://amillionflames.multiply.com/)

i've always loved rico, i've always loved rivermaya. i remember bringing them to iligan before for a show. well, i lost a great deal of money over that event due to lousy transaction deals but i will always love them. they are just so adorable. not to mention that their band has been one of the best in the local industry.

i'm happy for him though...but i can't help but be senti...

and yeah, i can relate...i feel i could relate...haaay...

abangan na lang....:)

finally looking at someone in the eye

Bacolod City-- "People don't really meet together anymore, and if they don't meet, they won't grow."

this is one verse that i just read on Paulo Coellho's (again!) latest book "Like the Flowing River" but no, am not gonna be telling you about the book. i'll instead tell you about the meeting :D

One of the reasons why i really wanted to go to Bacolod, aside from my work, and visiting my relatives was to meet a fellow mom whom i met in Pex.I first met May, otherwise known as sweetwahm at the Parenting 101 forum. I was expecting Xan then and she was already holding here baby Z for a few months that time. We've been sharing a lot of stories, pics even videos on the net for over a year that we were already treating each other's babies as pamangkins. And since May is out of town, she has missed our lotsa meetings and encounters of fellow moms here in Manila. All she got of course was our stories and seeing photos of our beaming faces as we all meet eye to eye and share more endless kwentos as most moms are bound to have lots of.

True enough, it's way different when you are finally able to put a face beyond a pex handle or a YM id. and pictures shared are never enough to let us know who the person really is. It's always way better to get to see each other's eyes, each other's soul.

Thanks, May, for finally having met you and Baby Z, and even Daddy T...I'd always treasure that, not to mention our kwentos and food trips, and long walks, and coffee drinking and dessert eating, and beer guzzling hahaha! Twas indeed one great meet! ;)

beachy!

Tagbilaran, Bohol--this is my usual kind of trip...bein beachy, yeah!



Bohol has always been a great place for me to go to especially for summer. they've got a lot of attractions from the chocolate hills, the loboc river, the tarsiers and yes of course, the beaches!!!

not to mention that Bohol happens to have one of my fave organized group of past recipients of our project. they are always the most active, the most accommodating. their last project i heard was a gift giving program for their inmates last Christmas, and yeah, they did it in their own initiative. how i wish most of our other organized groups are that self-sufficient.

we were able to meet them again this time and as usual they treated us to lunch at the dak's and gam's farm, who's owner happens to be one of our winners. they then took us to the bohol beach club for that longed for sun and sea soaking...great people indeed! :D

and of course, i'd always come back for more.