one freaky long weekend

i'm doin this amidst all the stuff i have to pack. am leavin again in a couple of days and though i know i have to be excited i still feel somehow listless. oh well, trust me for not being able to see the best in even the greatest of things. there's always a but, a mar on what could be an almost perfect event. sigh.

well let me get back to the past days i've gone through anyway...maybe you'll get to understand things better. or maybe i'll get to appreciate life more hahahay...

it's been quite a long weekend. and though i could have the choice of spending it outside partying with friends and acquaintances i'd still find myself going back to the hollowed halls which is our office.

oh well, am only describing what could have been a great event of a series of holidays and am already ranting hahahah!

sorry, this could be PMS talking out loud. i've been cramping so bad the past days. sometimes i wish i could just stick out some sore thumb up my "throat" and let it just gush out. some graphics huh! :lol:

last friday, i went out with some 30 something people whom i've met for the first time. and oh, sorry but i suddenly felt so old. oops, i hope they don't get to read this hehehehe...a friend of mine who i invited and was not even on his 30s asked me where i felt i should belong. i told him kse i felt so old being with the other group which is composed mostly of "kids" and here i am still whining that these people "my age" makes me feel out of place just the same wahahaha! errr, maybe am still in denial that i am indeed old? or maybe because i just feel i look so young being sitted alongside them (kapal! hehe) or maybe because i feel i still haven't accomplished much compared to most people my age? (hmmm, this is the bitter me talkin out i guess). well, anyway the group's tagline happens to be In your 30s? Still single? How Come? well whoever wrote that thread must be thinking hard why she's still single too and is hoping to get consolation from others who are in the same situation as she is. but most of us in the group bothered not to tackle the "how come?" part. kebs na lang...why do we have to wrack our brains trying to answer that anyway. but then again i have Xan already, why bother with it anyway. i realized i could be attached now for all i care had i opted to...nah, awat na..i would not want to go through that again. sigh...

the discussions in the group tackled careers, "close up moments" (whatever that is), and the dreaded lovelives. but then it was because of more career talks when discussions became sort of heated for the guys. i didn't exactly get it, my head was swimming in beer already heheh..we went home around 4am that day and oh, that left more thoughts for me to face the morning after. hmmm...

was still left with a couple more days then to laze and hopefully not wallow anymore. great though that i discovered this online radio which made me listen to old rock alternative tracks i haven't listened to in years. imagine me being able to listen to nirvana's heartshaped box, everclear's sta. monica, and more metallica and guns and roses and pearl jam which are not yet on my playlist?!! great god indeed! now i can't help but listen to it all day long yey!

i've also discovered some bootlegs of tori amos' latest album as stated on my previous blog entry heheh...i asked a friend to download it for me. i emailed my sis to get me the special edition package, i hope they could deliver waaah!. am such a toriphile :P

hmm, so these stuff are what made me glued on the pc the past days, other than my seemingly debilitating PMS. i'd rather stay here than go out for coffee. i'd rather order food than go get them myself. i'd rather sit here than take my shower hahahaha!

and now back to packing. sigh. this is the last leg of my trip. i''l be off to bukidnon then iligan. yey! i've just learned that there's another bundok trip in bukidnon that if it rains we'd have to walk for two hours waaah! and we'll be passing through CdO and i hope to get into white water rafting yey! and oh, i've my upcoming period to face pala, haay...bahala na.

and of course i'll be home in iligan and spend QT with my Xan. more yey!!! and though i have to interview like 4 people there i hope to be lugging Xan around so i won't have to part ways with him ever. weeeeh!

then i'll have to come back here again. for a while. this is when things become tricky. i'll be staying here for a while. no more trips. no where else to go to. that means i'll be here in the freakin office for the next 24/7 waaaah! how can i face that?? even if it's still quite far away i still dread thinkin that :(

and yeah, there's the career option to think of, finally. haven't i told you? i wanna leave this job soon! yeah, i intend to do a rico blanco of sorts. leave my job which i've had the past 9 years. it's gonna be hard. i don't even know how to start. or should i really go through it? or what. ssshhh, don't tell anyone.

well, newei, let me finish packing and just get on with the present. leaping off, thinking ahead too much most often spoils the fun d ba?!
hope you had a great weekend too.

oopps, this is quite a freaky long post too! :D