a halloween affair

Xan is on his way to his first ever halloween party at jollibee this saturday. i would have wanted him to go as Ju-on, what with but a heavy face powder on and just his diapers, tipid di ba?! he would have looked cute as a pumpkin too but the theme is supposed to be magical forest so it has to be something , err, magical. i suggested for the cutesy Pagaspas look but my bro said it's so kapuso hehe. so they scoured SM CDO today and found this costume:

see, what a cutesy, handsome lil prince we got!

have fun my dear Xan!! :D

how to plan for a looong weekend...

you don't.

had i known it's going to be this long..like almost one week! i should have bought a promo ticket and gotten home. oh wel..

nothin much to do now but take advantage of the spare time to face my backlogs, watch movies i've missed and just idle away again yey!

here are some titles i got from video city pala:

blood and chocolate

man of the year

the keys to the house

brothers grimm

a good year

the crime of padre amaro

i would also like to try catch up on my jogging and strive to keep fit enough for my surfing trip coming up next weekend :D

keep safe and have fun everyone!

cannibalism at it's best

mwahahaha!!!

falling into uncertainty

these are my words
that i've never said before
i think i'm doing okay
and this is the smile
that i've never shown before...(Staind)

I guess life wants to play tricks on us sometimes. Just when I thought I only want to stay cool and hide from the rest of the world I get into a situation where I can’t help but let my defenses down. It can prove to be pretty scary but the more I fight it, the more I brush it off, it becomes more nagging that it’s just easier to give in and go with the flow.

I have thought of a lot of grave negative reasons not to fall but I get a million more to just let go and embrace it all. Yeah, I claim how bad I’ve been battered and bruised and how jaded I’ve become but being here, being in this situation now makes me feel how good it is to be breathing each day, drinking each moment, savoring even the uncertainty.


And now I get to feel all the mush of being giddy with just seeing the places we used to go to or even just pass by. Places I used to carelessly walk by but now make me heave a deep sigh and paint that sly smile on my face in spite of some sense of longing I’ve never felt before.

Things have gone a-rosy once more. And hope just springs from everywhere. And although I sometimes get to sense fear of the unknown, of what is uncertain, I pray, choose and decide each day to just let it all slide off. I have learned to trust my intuitions and bask at the warmth of it all.

This brings to mind some words I’ve read from way, way back, when Robert Kincaid from the Bridges of Madison County ultimately told Francesca Johnson that:

"in this world of ambiguity this kind of certainty comes only once, and never again, no matter how many lifetimes you live".

I am indeed allowing myself to just fall into this uncertainty hoping that it can lead me to my certainty. I am taking my risk but I feel I am glorified by my choice. I am glad I am here and I have this right now.

I know I am blabbering once more. But I just want to say all this hoping I could still give you that big stupid grin on your face. Muchos gracias and happy birthday!

a night till morning with Paulo...

i didn't have any internet connection last night. i didn't want to rant so i turned to my books instead...among my plentiful backlogs (books i've yet to read or at least finish reading) i decided to go ahead with Paulo Coellho's By the River Piedra I sat Down and Wept since it's shorter and I had more chances of finishing it that night. And I did, yey!

And yeah, it's actually a good read, but still not as captivating as Eleven Minutes though. The story greatly reminds me of Before Sunset...two people meeting up when they were somewhat younger and meeting again after several years (9 years for BS, 11 years for this one). They get to catch up with each others lives and somewhat rekindled whatever it was they had back then. The conversations, Spain muted in the background (Paris for BS) made me more nostalgic.

And the medallion along with the simple sentence her childhood friend told Pilar jolted me off my seat, err, bed. Man, that was a bit intense. It also tells much about taking risks, "magic moments", and awakening the child within us. Really deep and soothing!

The ending was kinda a cliche though, I've almost predicted how it's gonna be. I still prefer BS open-ended conclusion. Better leave it to the romantic or the cynic how it's going to be. oh well...

At least, there's one book less on top of my pile, here's a few more:

1. Pride and Prejudice ( I wish to revert back to the classics somehow)

2. Malinche (i think I'm supposed to be into the last chapter already)

3. In Between Sheets (I've read a few pages..hafta go on then..)

4.The Unbearable Lightness of Being (had it years ago, just forgot if i've finished it or not)

5. Atlas Shrugged (after Fountainhead am sure I'm going to enjoy this one. Just that I need to find time)

6. Sandman's Book of Dreams (I've read a few stories there though)

As I've said that's just on top of my list, I didn't want to look for the rest as I didn't want to rattle myself even more. Too many good books, too little time. Let me get there slowly but surely. Ciao!

why i didn't enjoy bluewaters-davao...

...well, mostly because i was soooo looking forward to some fun in the sun amidst the cool october air...sigh.



but when we got there the pool was not even filled up even if i've made reservations weeks before that. so we waded on the beach for a while and though they had nice white sand we had to don footwears kse masakit sa paa ang mga bato bato, ouch!



when we were finally able to get into the pool umulan na ng malakas...haay. buti warm naman ang tubig at maganda ang view ng davao from a distance. Parang HK, wow!




we decided not to go island hopping na kse it's worth 5K plus we had to pay an additional P1500 for entrance fees at Pearl Farm plus 200 each for snorkeling gear nyek! i mean it must be fun, the beaches and resorts on the other side of Samal Is. might be well worth it but c'mon I've gone snorkeling and island hopping to other great beaches and resorts in the country but 5k plus-plus is still too much noh! (roundtrip airfare na yan to macau or xiamen via CebuPac's Go! fares hmpf!) well at least we got to relax for a while..sa sobrang quiet ba naman kse halos kami lang ang tao haha.



so we had to retire early as there's nothing left to do naman (buti they had lavender sheets naman har-har!)...at around 8pm we tried to ask the store for some milo (or beer man lang sana) kaso sarado na wahahaha!!! thus we we're really tucked in early that night. tried to watch Numb3rs on cable that time but the cable connection got disconnected at 9pm, hanubayun!!!


oh well, bye bye na nga lang and hope to find a better, more fun resort next time! :p

back...

whoa, still quite dizzy from all the flurries lately...Davao had been good, our event turned out well..though everything else wasn't really that grand as we were really too tired to enjoy. sigh.

and the Bluewater experience was quite a let-down..more sigh...

but at least i had a great time with Xan. trust my lil boy to perk things up even as we travelled more than 8 hours that winding road from Davao to Iligan via Bukidnon. I've forgotten how nauseating the ride was as Xan was giving us his toothy smiles in between sleep and munching on chips and blurting out "bee-bee" everytime we pass by some Jollibee signs.

oh well...and now am here...alone again, naturally (where did i hear that ba? haha).


was too tired i slept quite well after hurrying some paperworks...but woke up too raring to go out and breathe in Katipunan air hehe...felt too weary too jog so i just managed to cross the field and raided 7-11 with goodies. remind myself not to go food shopping when utterly hungry next time huh! i bought their breakfast meal, a hotdog sandwich, spag and chicken combo and a big bottle of coke. yeah, am such a 7-11 junkie...too bad there's still no blue Quake cakes :(

tried to feel better just the same as i sauntered back to my pit listening to Tori Amos' Bouncing Off Clouds...

Make It Easy
Make This Easy
It's Not As Heavy As It Seems

well, let me just settle down for now...normalize my sched once more and relax. i still have a lot of deadlines the next few weeks but at least am just here now.

and am so looking forward to that Sunday mamam, yi-ha!

davao bound

am off to davao tomorrow for our vismin regional awarding on the 11th. but we intend to get there a day early for some fun time at the beach, yey! hopefull mother nature will give us a grand time.

just yesterday my bro has been telling me that it might be quite hard and dangerous for my Xan to travel that almost 8 hour stretch all the way from Iligan. i told him Xan has travelled that much before when he was barely a year old and he actually whizzed through it. he should be fine now. then he said there are bomb threats everywhere once again. i told him there has never been a dearth for bomb threats everywhere in Mindanao. doesn't make any difference now. he figured it really is so hard to reason with me, after all i really just want to be with Xan in Davao once again. so he just gave up and said he'll call my mom.

now am just all too excited. my conflicts with Waterfront Insular finally got ironed out. the guests that we're expecting have confirmed. our production crew are prepping things up. i hope there will be no more glitches.

being away for a while means me being offline for that same too. and that means me missing everything and everyone online. oh well, i'll be back real soon. i will survive this haha!

see you on the 12th! by then i will be in Iligan naman for a few days before coming back here in Manila. :)

traipsing around tagaytay

we originally meant to go to laguna for some relaxing hot soak at the warm springs...unfortunately we found it hard to hold on to people's commitments and we had to shift plans when only but a handful of us were able to really say they were interested and willing to go with us. raring to go out of town to relax and have fun we ultimatley decided to just head on to tagaytay to have dinner and some beers and then coffee. and oh wow, we actually managed to attract more people and thus 8 of us finally set off to the wonderful cold world up tagaytay. yey!


the group at Leslie's


found this nice nook, perfect for camwhores like us...


inside Sanctuario..see? para kaming royal family!


the newly improved Olivares rotunda


bye, bye Tagaytay! Till next time!

my niece's growling debut

this is where Xan got his headbang technics. hala!

Go, Mai!

can i just say...hmmm?

(me and nards)

tonight was quite a mixture of elation and, er, boredom.

elated because i met people who i actually miss! old colleagues, friends, new people who's got more passion for life, hearing the speeches of our awardees, seeing one event going on well once again.

but darn, i felt bored maybe because i've heard all these inspiring messages a lot more often than the others that it has almost become more like cliches for me. i looked around the people in the audience and saw them nodding and even teary-eyed. i just looked at them and shrugged, i've heard it all before. sigh.

ei, i saw Nards again! I first met Nards at some salon in katip years ago when i was still in college, from then on he's been giving me my haircuts...then he became my neighbor when we stayed in abada and fast became closer friends...when i started working for BPA i've been contracting him as stylist for our awardees...this has been going on for more than 5 years already...i missed him last year because i was on leave when i had Xan...more so now that he's no longer based here in katip...he doesn't just cut my hair or does the most minimal make up for me eh...he's also been a great friend, confidante, sounding board, etc...at least i'll see him again for the national awarding this november...and yeah, he's promised me a cellophane treatment for free. weeh!

hmm..i wasn't a bit starstruck...i don't like sheryn...nor yeng especialy in her dress ( i preferred her more rakista look)...TJ looks good though..so bait pa...we lined up to have pics taken with him *lol!*

and oh my boss pari was more than happy with the results. he went around congratulating us. kaso ala naman bonus eh wahehe...

wala na..yun lang.

i have to say this though...everything that i wore tonight came from the ukay haha! my Old Navy dress cost me P60! my peep toe black shoes was for P100...and my velvetty purple kitty of a bag was only P50...now tell me again why i have to shop in malls???

i hate putting make up on my face...it itches all the time...now i gotta wash my face na.

my anti-depressant

stress and PMS is indeed such an irritating mix. good enough, i get to listen to this song well enough and get to drink each word and feel soothed...nevermind if i have to listen to it looped 5-6 times on my phone and get lost in sweet reverie :)

WORLDS APART (Jars of Clay)

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I tried so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
To give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
More deeply than the oceans,
More abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip that spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you – take my world apart
To need you – I am on my knees
To love you – take my world apart
To need you – broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

Additional Lyrics:

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can’t deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray
take my world apart

Worlds apart.

mp3 here.

ancient pic

me with my cousin, Jong...am the one with the cap. walang ilong ahihihi!

facial issues

my sister just sent me a tub of this famous anti-aging cream. back in the day my titas would scramble for this product when my titos would come home from abroad. we the younger ones would just shrug it off. now am actually one of the "older ones". ugh!

i just hope i would get vain and meticulous enough to follow such daily ritual and not get too lazy to wash my face and dab this on my face each single day.

well maybe next time i could also say that:

"my skin is smoother, firmer, at yung lines nawala!"

(nyak! inde bagay LOL!)

oh while at it...i'll be terribly busy the next few days even weeks for our regional awarding ceremonies...and this lazy me is now kinda panicking already and this early i want to pamper myself with a trip to the spa for a body scrub preferrably with salt or sugar or even coffee...get waxed (again)...have some foot spa and pedicure...and yeah, i miss jogging once again...i hope the rain stops now. sigh.

sorry, i'm just really tired from my trip. just this weekend i was playing and keeping it cool with Xan...now am suddenly back here in rainy Manila...life in transit is not so much a bliss really...but yeah, i have no right to complain. :bonkself: