it's oh so quiet...

...sshh...sshh...

everything seems to be back to normal at my side of the world. though i have yet to unpack some stuff which i brought to the hotel with me where we stayed for days or clean up my Xan's kalat everywhere i believe i have all the time in the world to do that. am all by myself once again anyway.

alone again, naturally.

i look back at the days spent almost in a flurry and can't help but be amazed at how we took it all in stride notwithstanding its magnanimity...we just had our national awarding ceremonies composed of 3 full days of activities both pleasurable and uber tiring. along with it came a big early morning fire near our hotel, lando and mina threatening to dampen our event, an earthquake which literally rocked our world and trillanes strutting up his ass anew but to no avail just the same. phew!

but i barely recalled being frazzled by them a bit. twas Xan who was more like wreaking sweet havoc in my own world.

they, my mama and Xan arrived here late afternoon last sunday. they were supposed to have arrived earlier at noontime and i was there at the airport waiting for them and the rest of our guests but mama read her trip ticket all wrong and thought that they were supposed to depart at 1230 instead of arriving on the said time *toink* ! so there goes my promo ticket as they had to buy a new one for the next flight out. and i could not wait up for them at the airport anymore as i had rehearsals scheduled around the time they were supposed to arrive. grrr, i was quite ready to snap on my mama for the mistake but Xan greeted me with a huge smile upon seeing them after the rehearsals. all is well that ends well.

we had a studio tour in the morning and the awards night scheduled came monday. i chose to let my mama go to the studio tour with the excuse that i needed to spend QT with Xan...am just really anti-abs hehe...but yeah, i do need to spend time with Xan...and let my mama enjoy the tour instead bleh. so Xan and i took the time lazing in our hotel room flipping channels on tv when i decided to take him to SM for some new shirts. so after quick showers we hopped on a taxi with my friend Sugar and proceeded to scour the kids section of the department store. on the way there though my phone kept on ringing with people on the tour asking where they were supposed to have lunch? or what will they do next after the tour? or what time were they supposed to go back to the hotel after the tour? or who's going to be fixing them up for the program later that night? etc, etc...and Xan wasn't really cooperating much either as he preferred being carried instead of holding my hand and just walk. i proceeded in picking up two shirts and just estimated and hoped hard that it fits him instead of my having to slip it on him for size. my, these shirts are costly huh! they were more pricey than my own shirts haha! i was too tired to complain or even calculate. i just picked them up and paid.

i looked around for my friend Sugar around the ladies shoes section but could not find her anywhere. i felt Xan getting heavier in my arms only to check that the kid (yeah, he's a baby no more) had fallen asleep. i have such an antukin son hehe. then another call came telling me that they were supposed to go back to the hotel already and will have to prepare fixing themselves up for the afternoon's program.

i had not much of a choice but to leave the store and head back to the hotel lugging sleeping Xan and the stuff we bought.

while all that was going on, i then felt how hard it must be for full time moms to take care of their kids all by themselves. what more if they have 2-3-4 kids at that. i found it hard juggling roles as a mom at that time and an organizer for an event that i just have to remind myself over and over again never to crack under pressure. i just needed to look at Xan's face as he sleeps peacefully and need not have to worry about everything else at all. i got back at the hotel, met our guests and asked them how the tour was and told me how much they enjoyed it and thanked us for the experience. all is indeed well.

the afternoon came and we all got busy prepping up, wearing our nicey nicey clothes, having our hair and make up done and waiting to just enjoy the rest of the event. there could have been a few glitches like the writers almost missing out on the giving of the special award, guests came in really late, seats were not really fully ocuppied until much much later, and the souvenir program which contains all the names of the winners was almost distributed before the program even started! buti na lang naharang ko *bop-bop!* wahahah! but i was glad everyone seemed exhilarated. our big bosses and guests were in full attendance and the audience were delighted upon seeing celebrity after celebrity gracing the show.

i was in my lil black dress, 3 inch high heels and pearls, fully made up...with dapper Xan in tow. whoever said carrying babies can be unglamourous or unfashionable :P

the night ended and everyone was in high spirits congratulating each other. i was just relieved it was all over sans major glitches...and Xan behaving pretty well like some young lil grown up. we went back to the hotel after smiling for the paparazzis everywhere. i capped my night with a mucho mugful of san mig light and some bibingka from quattro. yey!

the following day was our scheduled city tour. we dropped by rizal park first for some snapshots then metropolitan museum next. Xan was asleep again in the bus at this time. he was awake by that time we got to the coconut palace all because he pooped on his pants haha! my mama and i had to separate from the tour group and found a rest room quick to wash up Xan. he must be the first one to have pooped on the Php37M Presidential Guesthouse!

we were having lunch at jollibee in the mall of asia when we felt the earth shook. at first i thought i was just dizzy from running everywhere and getting on and off the hotel elevator where we roomed in at the 11th floor. but the people around us panicked as well. it must have been a few minutes before it eventually stopped. we were all quite scared that it might cause some tsunami as we were in the bay area, at a reclaimed land at that. Xan however was oblivious to what's goin on. he is after all with his favorite friend, bee-bee =)

after a couple of hours at the mall we then proceeded to star city. Xan was asleep again by the time we alighted so they were left on the bus as i had to accompany the rest of the guests. we first entered the snow world were we had first hand experience on what it's like to be literally cold :p we only took a few pics (though it was bawal) before leaving the area. i tried to wait up for my mama and Xan but we were not able to see each other inside the park :(...twas quite saddening as i separated myself from the group and i tried hard to look for them everywhere. and my mama wasn't able to answer my calls and texts after telling me they have gotten inside the park premises.

it felt dizzying being amidst all those people who were having so much fun while i continued to search everywhere for the people that mattered to me the most.

the day ended and it was time for us to head back to the bus and end the tour. i found Xan and my mama sitting exhausted on the bus too after having gotten off from the melee of people inside the park. well, at least they were safe and sound.

the following day was bye-bye day finally for our guests. though it was quite a tiring series of events everyone thanked us profusely for giving them a grand time.

it still baffles me till now how they would end up thanking us over and over again for giving them such royal treatment when they all deserved it in the first place. we, or our project will not be able to move without them in the first place.

twas thursday when trillanes acted out his own drama in the posh hotel which was the manila pen. Xan was busy entertaining the CSR's in air philippines while we all watched the live news report on tv and my brother texting me not to go near makati. well, we didn't have plans to go near makati at that time anyway. my mama stayed glued on the tv as i preferred watching over Xan. i still dunno how a few of my friends find him hot. he looks more like a sissy to me...care to look at this pic which i just grabbed anyhow:

oh yeah, feel free to grab and post this as well...this is the most i could do to spread the trillanes hate as i choose not to dwell on him anymore at all. :)

i found my next couple of days taking Xan and mama to the malls the best experience of which was in serendra, then high street, and lastly in market, market..where we celebrated our bonifacio day. :)

was also able to attend the mini christmax party with a few moms and kids from pex where Xan greatly enjoyed running around the KFC playpen amidst bigger kids who ended up hitting, even stepping on him. Xan the ever sport one would cry a bit, stand up, smile and run around again. i guess he still has not fully acquired the will to fight off whoever gets in his way har-har!

PHEW! this blog entry has gotten way longer than i expected.

i brough Xan and mama to the airport this morning. i thought i should feel sad and homesick once more but i feel i should be numb already. after almost two years of being in and out of Xan's life i should get used to it already. not the bad kind of being content and nonchalant about it. but the kind of content which makes me feel secure that at least Xan is in good hands and that my mama actually looks happier now with Xan around.

everything is all but quiet once again. i sit here and revel at all the activities we went through.

and i take comfort at the wisp of scents Xan left here with me. i could still feel his ultra soft skin, hear his shrieks and giggles, smell the warmth of his skin.

i, too am glad to have had this opportunity of being able to be with him and share this part of my world.

now i am back to reality.

sshhh...sshhh...