i was jogging around the football field when i remembered Russel. he's some guy in my past, no it didn't really became an us but i did have fond memories of that boy. i'm reposting this blog post which i had three years ago. i'm really just hoping and praying that he is fine wherever he is now.
you were sitting then at dunkin donuts waiting for your friends. you had your hair grown long enough to be tied back looking neat.
i was standing outside waiting for my ride.
you smiled at me.
i hesitantly smiled back.
you called me in.
i did and we talked a while. i noticed you had with you Nicholas Spark's A Walk To Remember. i told you i loved the book and the movie and the soundtrack. you told me you have the cd soundtrack and the dvd too. we chitchatted for a while but i had to go so we exchanged numbers instead. we also agreed to see each other again once we get back to manila. that was december.
i felt thrilled a bit. after all you were a sorta crush from way back. we first met at a science camp in high school. you were in first year high. i was a senior. you were but a kid then.
i kinda forgot about it then. till i got a text message sometime in february. it was from you. you wanted us to meet but we were both too busy to agree on a good date.
but that valentine's day, we both talked about being text dates instead. even if we did not have to see each other that day at least we were able to keep track of each other at least through texts. i remembered not being able to reply to your messages and you reprimanded me for being a bad date. thus came night time, when work was done, i set all things down and texted with you till late night until we fell asleep. that has to be one of my most memorable valentines day.
we met only about a week later. twas kinda good to squeeze such moment in both our busy yuppie lives. and though i'm not really into horror films, you made me watch The Eye which did not really stop me from having a good time. the conversations, the closeness, the mere feeling of being with you was totally different. it was as if it was meant to be.
but maybe not. our work, our businesses were always between us. we would agree to see each other again but something would always come up.
you would tell me to meet up and i would wait and wait. but there wasn't a mere scent of you.
you would surprise me with a visit but you'd be surprised i was not home.
you would hastily ask me to see you after your football practice but i've already made prior engagements.
you told me i'm impatient. i told you you were plain unavailable.
a mere discussion turned into an ugly text war. and we were not even together yet.
i had to go on.
this girl has been scalded and scathed. the young girl's fantasies remained as such. it was time to get real.
you asked for us to start over. though hesitant i wanted to give it a chance too. i wanted to see if things will get better if we see each each other again.
we met again one holiday. and like the first time, we also watched a movie. but i enjoyed the movie more than being with you. it was after all nicholas cage's The National Treasure. i was grateful you took me to it. but not so much that i get to see you again. twas truly the end for us then as the end credits rolled.
i was kinda hoping that maybe, just maybe fate, will be sweeter for us again. i was looking forward to still seeing you around and learn great things about you. who knows.
There's no more chance of seeing him anywhere anymore. Apparently he took his own life reportedly after having broken up with his gf. Only God knows what the real reason could be. But it's such a waste. Such a sad, sad news. Dunno. Am still at a daze.