for the past ten years, i've been drafting the timeline for our project. and yes, each year for the past 10 years this has been the timeline of my life as well.
i found myself lost in the flurries of promos, going out of town, meeting different people, conducting interviews, lugging tripods and videocams, climbing mountains, riding almost all sorts of vehicles from planes to bangka to habal-habal heck even horses! and we culminate it with a night of so called glamour as we strut in our best shoes and attire and enjoy the sights as our awardees are thrown into the limelight.
we rest a while and we start all over again.
well at least i am more able to plan out my activities. know where i could be at that time of the year, take control of my trips and side trips as well. and yeah, each thought of being able to go someplace again after a couple of months of staying at the office is indeed enough motivation to just hang on and relish each days of being kept indoors.
thus as i crawled on to each timeline, i never really noticed how ten years just passed me by. and though i've been ranting again and again about wanting to try working someplace else, i'd tend to forget about it as soon as i get into the motion of starting over again the cycle that is the project.
as i am drafting this year's timeline, i can't help but think how this draft has ruled my life for so long now. i've been guided by these little details that i fear i've lost sight of the grander thing i should actually be working for. what is the bigger picture that i really need to see? where do i want to really head on to? what am i really doing this for?
but is there really a bigger picture? a point for all of this that i need to figure out? or shall i just live each day, fulfill each task at hand, carry on one timeline and make sure that everything has been done on time, and according to what has been planned?
drat! all i really to think of now is hope for the project to kick off as soon as summer starts so i can have my own share of side trips to the beaches as we promote our search to people. to schedule the interviews in time for our city fiesta so i can go home again. reserve the cooler months for a Japan trip in case i will really be sent (wishful thinking!)...and so on and so forth! planning things as these are good enough stimulants, you know!