*sniff*

seems like no one can accompany me to the vertical horizon concert this friday at araneta. i guess i'll just have to buy myself some beers, munch on hot n spicy cheding's, watch as many VH vids i could find on youtube, and sniff...or even bawl.:(

and i think am gonna be coming down with something..all these rains..and the cold...more sniffs.

dreamy

I believe in the sand beneath my toes...

(third eye blind)

my brother has been asking me to drop by zamboanga city where he is currently working for their Christmas party on the 20th. i have booked my flight and we'll just go home together by bus to our home in Iligan. nevermind if it's but another 10-12 hour trip. ilang beses na sya nagparinig that i should drop by and see his place there so i should for once give in.

in return, i've been prodding him to take me to sta. cruz island too. dang, it's been really cold lately and am dreaming of the warm sun to kiss my pale skin once more.

he told me that it might be dangerous at this time as there's some war brewing over at Sulu and that we might need some Marine escorts in case we do visit.

i don't really mind. there's always war on that part of the world most of the time anyway. and having armed escorts does sound cool, right?

but i've alway believed that my bro, our only boy in the family lacks the adventurous spirit we, the women in the family has. har-har.

but i'm really still hoping and praying he gives in.

man, how can i not drool on this one:

a whiter shade of pale

Music Video: A WHITER SHADE OF PALE -Annie Lennox

it's oh so quiet...

...sshh...sshh...

everything seems to be back to normal at my side of the world. though i have yet to unpack some stuff which i brought to the hotel with me where we stayed for days or clean up my Xan's kalat everywhere i believe i have all the time in the world to do that. am all by myself once again anyway.

alone again, naturally.

i look back at the days spent almost in a flurry and can't help but be amazed at how we took it all in stride notwithstanding its magnanimity...we just had our national awarding ceremonies composed of 3 full days of activities both pleasurable and uber tiring. along with it came a big early morning fire near our hotel, lando and mina threatening to dampen our event, an earthquake which literally rocked our world and trillanes strutting up his ass anew but to no avail just the same. phew!

but i barely recalled being frazzled by them a bit. twas Xan who was more like wreaking sweet havoc in my own world.

they, my mama and Xan arrived here late afternoon last sunday. they were supposed to have arrived earlier at noontime and i was there at the airport waiting for them and the rest of our guests but mama read her trip ticket all wrong and thought that they were supposed to depart at 1230 instead of arriving on the said time *toink* ! so there goes my promo ticket as they had to buy a new one for the next flight out. and i could not wait up for them at the airport anymore as i had rehearsals scheduled around the time they were supposed to arrive. grrr, i was quite ready to snap on my mama for the mistake but Xan greeted me with a huge smile upon seeing them after the rehearsals. all is well that ends well.

we had a studio tour in the morning and the awards night scheduled came monday. i chose to let my mama go to the studio tour with the excuse that i needed to spend QT with Xan...am just really anti-abs hehe...but yeah, i do need to spend time with Xan...and let my mama enjoy the tour instead bleh. so Xan and i took the time lazing in our hotel room flipping channels on tv when i decided to take him to SM for some new shirts. so after quick showers we hopped on a taxi with my friend Sugar and proceeded to scour the kids section of the department store. on the way there though my phone kept on ringing with people on the tour asking where they were supposed to have lunch? or what will they do next after the tour? or what time were they supposed to go back to the hotel after the tour? or who's going to be fixing them up for the program later that night? etc, etc...and Xan wasn't really cooperating much either as he preferred being carried instead of holding my hand and just walk. i proceeded in picking up two shirts and just estimated and hoped hard that it fits him instead of my having to slip it on him for size. my, these shirts are costly huh! they were more pricey than my own shirts haha! i was too tired to complain or even calculate. i just picked them up and paid.

i looked around for my friend Sugar around the ladies shoes section but could not find her anywhere. i felt Xan getting heavier in my arms only to check that the kid (yeah, he's a baby no more) had fallen asleep. i have such an antukin son hehe. then another call came telling me that they were supposed to go back to the hotel already and will have to prepare fixing themselves up for the afternoon's program.

i had not much of a choice but to leave the store and head back to the hotel lugging sleeping Xan and the stuff we bought.

while all that was going on, i then felt how hard it must be for full time moms to take care of their kids all by themselves. what more if they have 2-3-4 kids at that. i found it hard juggling roles as a mom at that time and an organizer for an event that i just have to remind myself over and over again never to crack under pressure. i just needed to look at Xan's face as he sleeps peacefully and need not have to worry about everything else at all. i got back at the hotel, met our guests and asked them how the tour was and told me how much they enjoyed it and thanked us for the experience. all is indeed well.

the afternoon came and we all got busy prepping up, wearing our nicey nicey clothes, having our hair and make up done and waiting to just enjoy the rest of the event. there could have been a few glitches like the writers almost missing out on the giving of the special award, guests came in really late, seats were not really fully ocuppied until much much later, and the souvenir program which contains all the names of the winners was almost distributed before the program even started! buti na lang naharang ko *bop-bop!* wahahah! but i was glad everyone seemed exhilarated. our big bosses and guests were in full attendance and the audience were delighted upon seeing celebrity after celebrity gracing the show.

i was in my lil black dress, 3 inch high heels and pearls, fully made up...with dapper Xan in tow. whoever said carrying babies can be unglamourous or unfashionable :P

the night ended and everyone was in high spirits congratulating each other. i was just relieved it was all over sans major glitches...and Xan behaving pretty well like some young lil grown up. we went back to the hotel after smiling for the paparazzis everywhere. i capped my night with a mucho mugful of san mig light and some bibingka from quattro. yey!

the following day was our scheduled city tour. we dropped by rizal park first for some snapshots then metropolitan museum next. Xan was asleep again in the bus at this time. he was awake by that time we got to the coconut palace all because he pooped on his pants haha! my mama and i had to separate from the tour group and found a rest room quick to wash up Xan. he must be the first one to have pooped on the Php37M Presidential Guesthouse!

we were having lunch at jollibee in the mall of asia when we felt the earth shook. at first i thought i was just dizzy from running everywhere and getting on and off the hotel elevator where we roomed in at the 11th floor. but the people around us panicked as well. it must have been a few minutes before it eventually stopped. we were all quite scared that it might cause some tsunami as we were in the bay area, at a reclaimed land at that. Xan however was oblivious to what's goin on. he is after all with his favorite friend, bee-bee =)

after a couple of hours at the mall we then proceeded to star city. Xan was asleep again by the time we alighted so they were left on the bus as i had to accompany the rest of the guests. we first entered the snow world were we had first hand experience on what it's like to be literally cold :p we only took a few pics (though it was bawal) before leaving the area. i tried to wait up for my mama and Xan but we were not able to see each other inside the park :(...twas quite saddening as i separated myself from the group and i tried hard to look for them everywhere. and my mama wasn't able to answer my calls and texts after telling me they have gotten inside the park premises.

it felt dizzying being amidst all those people who were having so much fun while i continued to search everywhere for the people that mattered to me the most.

the day ended and it was time for us to head back to the bus and end the tour. i found Xan and my mama sitting exhausted on the bus too after having gotten off from the melee of people inside the park. well, at least they were safe and sound.

the following day was bye-bye day finally for our guests. though it was quite a tiring series of events everyone thanked us profusely for giving them a grand time.

it still baffles me till now how they would end up thanking us over and over again for giving them such royal treatment when they all deserved it in the first place. we, or our project will not be able to move without them in the first place.

twas thursday when trillanes acted out his own drama in the posh hotel which was the manila pen. Xan was busy entertaining the CSR's in air philippines while we all watched the live news report on tv and my brother texting me not to go near makati. well, we didn't have plans to go near makati at that time anyway. my mama stayed glued on the tv as i preferred watching over Xan. i still dunno how a few of my friends find him hot. he looks more like a sissy to me...care to look at this pic which i just grabbed anyhow:

oh yeah, feel free to grab and post this as well...this is the most i could do to spread the trillanes hate as i choose not to dwell on him anymore at all. :)

i found my next couple of days taking Xan and mama to the malls the best experience of which was in serendra, then high street, and lastly in market, market..where we celebrated our bonifacio day. :)

was also able to attend the mini christmax party with a few moms and kids from pex where Xan greatly enjoyed running around the KFC playpen amidst bigger kids who ended up hitting, even stepping on him. Xan the ever sport one would cry a bit, stand up, smile and run around again. i guess he still has not fully acquired the will to fight off whoever gets in his way har-har!

PHEW! this blog entry has gotten way longer than i expected.

i brough Xan and mama to the airport this morning. i thought i should feel sad and homesick once more but i feel i should be numb already. after almost two years of being in and out of Xan's life i should get used to it already. not the bad kind of being content and nonchalant about it. but the kind of content which makes me feel secure that at least Xan is in good hands and that my mama actually looks happier now with Xan around.

everything is all but quiet once again. i sit here and revel at all the activities we went through.

and i take comfort at the wisp of scents Xan left here with me. i could still feel his ultra soft skin, hear his shrieks and giggles, smell the warmth of his skin.

i, too am glad to have had this opportunity of being able to be with him and share this part of my world.

now i am back to reality.

sshhh...sshhh...

good and bad

this is one extraordinary day....

after lashing out on me on the phone she texted right after thanking me for keeping my cool...for being strong enough to take the brunt and not lash back. she said i'm still the reason why she wants to keep on helping with project.

********************

happy birthday, Mai, you've really grown to become a fine young woman. i miss you and i hope to see you soon...i'm really wishing we could find Marius soon...real soon. *weeps*

*********************

thank you too. i spent too much time ranting that i failed reaching out to my powerline. just the thought of being able to be with you again is more than enough to make me not think about the distance. time passes quite quickly after all.

**********************

it's cold, cold outside. but it never fails to remind me how warm life could be.

The EEE PC

been tinkering with this new toy for a couple of days now. uhm, i don't really know much about computers anyway but am just truly amazed with this one.

yes, it's the ASUS EEE PC. it's only been out for a few months now and is supposedly sold at the US for $200-$300 depending on the specs. we got this one for P17,999 at 4 gig hard drive, 512 mb ram...there's not much memory capacity in there but i've got my flash disks and memory cards anyway.

it has a 7 inch screen but with pre-installed open office for documents, firefox for web browsing, pidgin for instant messaging and skype (yes, it has a built in webcam!).

i've tried viewing my pictures, listening to my mp3s, even played solitaire, tetris and sudoku hehe...i still don't know how to play the rest of the games. and i have yet to try out it's wi-fi connection. i'm still finding some way how to access it here in the campus.

yes, it's just as big as my book. i just heard though that an MS Windows version will be out late this year. this one, though compatible with windows XP is still powered by linux xandros. friends tell me though that linux is actually safer against virus attacks. hmm, we'll see, we'll see. this unit is not mine though as I got this for the office, but i'll be using this just the same bwahahaha!

ACE is the life!

had the chance to try out the ace water spa this saturday. too bad we couldn't take pictures inside but we did have almost 4 glorious hours of fun and relaxation for but 500 bucks.

it's actually easy to go there getting off from quezon ave mrt station and hailing a cab going to the location in banawe via quezon ave. riding several jeepneys to the place proved quite tricky which is why we ended up hailing a cab which was but 80 bucks anyway.

upon reaching the place, paying, getting our swimming caps, changed into our swimwear and showered ai, karl and i took the time exploring and trying out the different hydromassages. and there were a lot for different pressure points as the foot, buttocks, back, chest. my over all favorite was the one wherein we can lie face down with jets of water falling hard on our backs like rainfall. karl had a fancy time having his b.alls massaged too waheheh..ai couldn't quite take being tickled off by the foot massager. and even the ones where she could be massaged on the legs haha!

after about an hour andy joined us and we got to tour him around the place too. we also sampled out the herbal pools with mint, jasmine or lavender scents in varying degrees of hotness. i got quite claustrophobic in the steam room but the sauna was really nice.

andy had fun with the bucket shower and in sampling the heated pools and sauna.

after a couple of hours playing and getting massaged we found ourselves floating around the lazy river. i was able to take a few laps on their lapping pool too. wow, i can still complete one stretch! though i still find freestyle kinda complicated, back and breast strokes are still passable.

the most fun we had must be with the floor fountain where we got to be kids again running around, stepping, sitting on jets of water haha! we even requested for the mushroom shower supposedly just for kids to be turned on. darn, really too bad we couldn't get pics inside.


we didn't finish the 4 hours actually as we were already starved and was talking greatly about what to order at our dinner in mr. kababs in quezon corner west avenues. we were given a complimentary bowl of soup upon leaving the spa which was a bit enough to provide us some strength while we queued up for our table in Kabab's where more friends joined us for a dinner of korma, keema, pita bread and glen's libre of yogurt drinks .


we capped off our gimmick with a mucho mug in quattro along timog, some sisig and bibingka. yey! another great time with the kaladkarins!

Deeply

wow, it's been a while since i have seen any great film lately. this is quite some sweet surprise as i didn't have any idea what it's all about. i thought of the setting as quite bland and too cold and the weather too harsh...but dang, i was so moved as the story is unfold.

i'm not gonna put in any spoilers but the parallelism beweeen the two teen characters is just so greatly woven.

the ending is cathartic. i was left speechless for a while. great images abound too.

watch it!

maturity test

You Are 74% Grown Up, 26% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature. Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

you are cordially invited...

sana makapag leave kayo and be able to attend our show. :)

latest thrill

i'm not really into flats but hey, i got this for but a hundred bucks. =)

rant or rave??

maybe my boss is reading my blog alright.

when we were in davao i kinda suggested that we should have our RnR out of the country especially with all this cheapo airfare promos going around...we were thinking of HK-Macau or Sing-KL or even Xiamen...

i haven't used my passport in years and my recently renewed one is still clean so i figured i should charm my way into getting an all expense paid trip.

i still have unredeemed mileage from PAL but an ultimately free trip should be way better, right??!

well, before my boss left for the US this monday, i asked him again about it and said "ikaw na nga bahala. basta gusto ko dun sa malamig"

so he whipped out his PDA and checked his sked and said he'll block out jan. 28 onwards for the trip.

so just about now i'm sort of doing my research for a possible itinerary. we've already decided on Sing-KL and is just finalizing everything and i have to make proper bookings and ticket purchase before he comes back lest he changes his mind wahaha!

why i'm thinking about ranting? because i've already set my mind on filing my resignation just about that time but with this sudden turn of event how do you think can i?. LOL

it could have been more fun...

...had i made a baon of a lot of extra strength and more patience.

we left manila at past 12 midnight and arrived at san juan, la union at barely 5am..it was a swift uneventful trip. too bad i wasn't able to sleep well. was so looking forward to at least getting some zzzs but failed as rooms were not available yet for us to check in.

it was so cold, and the beach looked scary. the waves looked fierce...but of course, welcome to surfers haven!

we were told to get ready as we had to leave for bacnotan by 830 for our surfing lessons. we can't stay at the resort as there will be a surfing competition. and so we did finally leave at way past 9..talk about filipino time har-har!

it was scorching hot, good enough i was with the first batch. i had to psych myself up to be excited, wake myself up and just learn to surf, surf!!

my instructor was a 12 year old boy (yes!) i dunno exactly if he knew what he was doing but hey, i did surprise myself a few times by being able to stand up before being washed off and swallowing some sea water haha! i must say it was fun and that i might actually want to do it again. i just wish i wasn't too tired and i wasn't that hungry, or it wasn't that hot. i didn't finish my one hour. my legs were just shaking and i was too tired to stand up everytime my kid instructor pushed the board and told me to stand up.

it would have been more fun watching the next batches fall off and be harassed by the water too. but it was way past 12 and we were just huddled together under one big umbrella as our shade. we were finally made to have lunch ahead of the others. we went to riverfarm where we waited for like another hour for our food bleh!

we finally got to our rooms, showered and dressed and by 4pm i collapsed in bed and went off to lalala-land yi-ha!

i woke up at past 7 and felt bad for missing the sunset but the bed was just too comfy.

and we were told to get dinner kanya-kanya. i was kinda looking forward for that surfers' night/bonding session but i guess everyone was too tired to do anything. i bought some take out dinner went back to the room, watched tv and slept again.

there was a party outside, several local bands played but well, oh well.

the next morning my roommate took me to some quaint food stall where i got to score a 40-peso breakfast hehe..then we walked around the beach, took pics, then packed our things. i was just raring to go back to manila!

we were supposed to have lunch at halo halo de iloko but a few of them took a second surfing lesson and weren't back till past 12 so we took the liberty of taking lunch ahead. we got to the resto at past 1pm, at least we were stuffed full already so we just ordered their kiddie halo-halo which wasn't so great anyway (oops!).

we finally left la union at almost 4pm. we dropped by isdaan in tarlac supposedly for more pics but most of us just went for a bathroom break and urged everyone to forego the picture taking and head back home pronto haha!

we finally arrived in manila at around 9pm, yey!

i was so tired i could barely walk. my body was aching all over and i felt like i didn't sleep for days.

who says taking a vacation is really stress-free. dang, i've never felt so exhausted!

but then again maybe i'm really just getting old (sigh..)

more pics here!

off to surfland..

not that am an expert...i don't even know exactly what i'd do there. yeah, i've tried skimboarding a couple of times years ago but i'm not really that an expert in these things. i have a really poor sense of balance. dang, i don't even know how to ride a bike! haha!

but i'm going just the same if only to be able to tell myself years from now that i've done these things yi-ha! and there's the beach! i just hope i won't get jelly-fish-ed. yikes! or get injured. or whatever.

i really just want to enjoy this one. at least enjoy the road trip. have fun in the company of new people. bask in the warmth of november sun. and hopefully get a glimpse (and pics too!) of the sunset.

then after this maybe i could finally try go white river rafting in Kalinga...

or bungee jump off the Macau tower...

or skyjump over Georgia...

and all those dreamy stuff i want to do before i reach 40! (yeah, tumaas na ang age limit wahehe)

whoever said this life is boring??

come join the fun!

a halloween affair

Xan is on his way to his first ever halloween party at jollibee this saturday. i would have wanted him to go as Ju-on, what with but a heavy face powder on and just his diapers, tipid di ba?! he would have looked cute as a pumpkin too but the theme is supposed to be magical forest so it has to be something , err, magical. i suggested for the cutesy Pagaspas look but my bro said it's so kapuso hehe. so they scoured SM CDO today and found this costume:

see, what a cutesy, handsome lil prince we got!

have fun my dear Xan!! :D

how to plan for a looong weekend...

you don't.

had i known it's going to be this long..like almost one week! i should have bought a promo ticket and gotten home. oh wel..

nothin much to do now but take advantage of the spare time to face my backlogs, watch movies i've missed and just idle away again yey!

here are some titles i got from video city pala:

blood and chocolate

man of the year

the keys to the house

brothers grimm

a good year

the crime of padre amaro

i would also like to try catch up on my jogging and strive to keep fit enough for my surfing trip coming up next weekend :D

keep safe and have fun everyone!

cannibalism at it's best

mwahahaha!!!

falling into uncertainty

these are my words
that i've never said before
i think i'm doing okay
and this is the smile
that i've never shown before...(Staind)

I guess life wants to play tricks on us sometimes. Just when I thought I only want to stay cool and hide from the rest of the world I get into a situation where I can’t help but let my defenses down. It can prove to be pretty scary but the more I fight it, the more I brush it off, it becomes more nagging that it’s just easier to give in and go with the flow.

I have thought of a lot of grave negative reasons not to fall but I get a million more to just let go and embrace it all. Yeah, I claim how bad I’ve been battered and bruised and how jaded I’ve become but being here, being in this situation now makes me feel how good it is to be breathing each day, drinking each moment, savoring even the uncertainty.


And now I get to feel all the mush of being giddy with just seeing the places we used to go to or even just pass by. Places I used to carelessly walk by but now make me heave a deep sigh and paint that sly smile on my face in spite of some sense of longing I’ve never felt before.

Things have gone a-rosy once more. And hope just springs from everywhere. And although I sometimes get to sense fear of the unknown, of what is uncertain, I pray, choose and decide each day to just let it all slide off. I have learned to trust my intuitions and bask at the warmth of it all.

This brings to mind some words I’ve read from way, way back, when Robert Kincaid from the Bridges of Madison County ultimately told Francesca Johnson that:

"in this world of ambiguity this kind of certainty comes only once, and never again, no matter how many lifetimes you live".

I am indeed allowing myself to just fall into this uncertainty hoping that it can lead me to my certainty. I am taking my risk but I feel I am glorified by my choice. I am glad I am here and I have this right now.

I know I am blabbering once more. But I just want to say all this hoping I could still give you that big stupid grin on your face. Muchos gracias and happy birthday!

a night till morning with Paulo...

i didn't have any internet connection last night. i didn't want to rant so i turned to my books instead...among my plentiful backlogs (books i've yet to read or at least finish reading) i decided to go ahead with Paulo Coellho's By the River Piedra I sat Down and Wept since it's shorter and I had more chances of finishing it that night. And I did, yey!

And yeah, it's actually a good read, but still not as captivating as Eleven Minutes though. The story greatly reminds me of Before Sunset...two people meeting up when they were somewhat younger and meeting again after several years (9 years for BS, 11 years for this one). They get to catch up with each others lives and somewhat rekindled whatever it was they had back then. The conversations, Spain muted in the background (Paris for BS) made me more nostalgic.

And the medallion along with the simple sentence her childhood friend told Pilar jolted me off my seat, err, bed. Man, that was a bit intense. It also tells much about taking risks, "magic moments", and awakening the child within us. Really deep and soothing!

The ending was kinda a cliche though, I've almost predicted how it's gonna be. I still prefer BS open-ended conclusion. Better leave it to the romantic or the cynic how it's going to be. oh well...

At least, there's one book less on top of my pile, here's a few more:

1. Pride and Prejudice ( I wish to revert back to the classics somehow)

2. Malinche (i think I'm supposed to be into the last chapter already)

3. In Between Sheets (I've read a few pages..hafta go on then..)

4.The Unbearable Lightness of Being (had it years ago, just forgot if i've finished it or not)

5. Atlas Shrugged (after Fountainhead am sure I'm going to enjoy this one. Just that I need to find time)

6. Sandman's Book of Dreams (I've read a few stories there though)

As I've said that's just on top of my list, I didn't want to look for the rest as I didn't want to rattle myself even more. Too many good books, too little time. Let me get there slowly but surely. Ciao!

why i didn't enjoy bluewaters-davao...

...well, mostly because i was soooo looking forward to some fun in the sun amidst the cool october air...sigh.



but when we got there the pool was not even filled up even if i've made reservations weeks before that. so we waded on the beach for a while and though they had nice white sand we had to don footwears kse masakit sa paa ang mga bato bato, ouch!



when we were finally able to get into the pool umulan na ng malakas...haay. buti warm naman ang tubig at maganda ang view ng davao from a distance. Parang HK, wow!




we decided not to go island hopping na kse it's worth 5K plus we had to pay an additional P1500 for entrance fees at Pearl Farm plus 200 each for snorkeling gear nyek! i mean it must be fun, the beaches and resorts on the other side of Samal Is. might be well worth it but c'mon I've gone snorkeling and island hopping to other great beaches and resorts in the country but 5k plus-plus is still too much noh! (roundtrip airfare na yan to macau or xiamen via CebuPac's Go! fares hmpf!) well at least we got to relax for a while..sa sobrang quiet ba naman kse halos kami lang ang tao haha.



so we had to retire early as there's nothing left to do naman (buti they had lavender sheets naman har-har!)...at around 8pm we tried to ask the store for some milo (or beer man lang sana) kaso sarado na wahahaha!!! thus we we're really tucked in early that night. tried to watch Numb3rs on cable that time but the cable connection got disconnected at 9pm, hanubayun!!!


oh well, bye bye na nga lang and hope to find a better, more fun resort next time! :p