sunday delight

after visiting Gesu (turned out there's no mass for today) i walked all the way to gate 2 bent on getting myself a chicken joy. hell, nothin beats some familar food sometimes. as i walked up the overpass though i saw the red big sign which reminded me of some mouth watering buttery creamy mashed potatoes so i didn't hesitate and went to red ribbon instead. jollibee can always wait.

such a great Sunday just the same. ;)

bloggin love

i've never really known what real love is all about. yeah, i'm the kind of person who loves to be in love all the time. but it's merely just the notion of being thought of and being able to think of someone in a different light. the kind of love that makes you giddy with excitement just with the thought of seeing the person.

in school we were even introduced to scott peck who gave us his own definition of love being not just a feeling but a decision. that love becomes love when you decide to stay with the person even when the sparks have gone out and the excitement has died.

i'm afraid though that i never got into experiencing that kind of love. or i chose not to love that way anyway. love has not been so good to me. i only ended up hurting and hating.

but then when i had my son i knew what love is all about. it's the kind of feeling that brings tears in your eyes just looking at that helpless newborn longing for your touch. it dispells all that notion of love being difficult and hurting and even cruel. it's like falling in love at first sight. falling in love all over again. falling in love all day everyday.



forgive me, but yeah. am back to being in love once again. so great that you'd see the sparkles in my eyes just like that.

oh, look!!!

(photo courtesy of www.pinkisthenewblog.com)


while at it, i'd like to copy this one from my email:

Hotline Opens to Counsel Heartbroken Potter Fans
Lifestyle
A British book retailer plans to set up a counseling hotline for all heartbroken fans of Harry Potter, who is going to die in the much awaited next book.

The seventh and final book of J. K. Rowling includes the death of the popular character.

It is already topping the charts at Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com, and a deluxe edition of the book is second despite a hefty pricetag.

counseling, my foot!! o sya, then lemme just offer the services of my very own home then for your psychoemotional needs. we do specialize in crisis counseling anyway. har-har!

the weekend that was

i kinda had a good enough weekend...quite interesting but not that great. newei, here's a few recap.:

1. had the luxury of waking up late...yeah, sleep is such a heavenly thing for me to do. i love to sleep! and since i've "lived" here in the office i could not sleep till late anymore. so this weekend i took my time and woke up like past 12 heheh...

2. i later went to the salon and had my toe nails done. had it painted red. landi!!!!


3. later that afternoon i got to meet some new friends from pex singles' couch. met up with miss vb, my nick relative and had coffee at bo's. we had quite a chitchat as we waited for santo and naru to arrive. i have been reading this cutesy story at pex titled welcome to my life and is so touched by it that i brought them to meat shop, were one of the scenes actually took place. however, my images of it were shattered because, they have just transferred to a different location. and though it was but near, the service seemed to have gone back to a dry run. we waited for almost an hour for our food. we were hungry and we had to wait a long time even if we only asked for additional bowls or spoons. drat! our friend santo felt compensated for their incompetence though by taking home a bowl and a tissue holder. :p

4. that night, i was able to track down a long lost friend via friendster. i met gen like 9 years ago during a national writers workshop held in iligan. she hails from antique.we had crazy times. i remember vividly, us young girls then, lounging at the hotel rooftop singing along with tori amos, lost in the melodies and drift of her songs. gen considers us all as "old souls" don't exactly know what it means but i sense something really meaningful and beautiful about it. i'm set to meet her for coffee soon. yey!

5. i went to mass that sunday morning, my first in ages. i still felt peaceful and reflective in there. i've seen a few college friends and boy how i envied those who were with their families. i've always loved the sight of young ladies hugging their dads and every child kissing their parents while wishing them "peace". never fails to melt my heart.


6. after mass i went out of the campus to eat and later sought a net cafe where i hope to see Xan on webcam. unfortunately Xan was asleep, and they had trouble back home connecting to ym. darn it again.

7. i felt really frustrated i wanna kick myself hard. you see, i was hoping i'd get to go out with a friend that sunday. we were supposed to watch a movie. the prospect of being able to go out and see him again actually excited me. however, i didn't hear from him. no text, no nothing. i remembered praying hard that saturday night for just one text message. i don't care if it wasn't pushing through. i just wanted to know instead of waiting for forever. i just hate it so much when i expect. kaya nga i would always remind myself, as said in The Joy Luck Club, "never expect, only hope!". sometimes i wish i could not be that bratty anymore. twas glad though that i still have some ym friends. friends who quizzed me about it only to laugh at me and later comfort me. some friends huh! couldn't really blame them. i found it laughable too. oh well, the "date" never took place. and i might reprimand him about it the next day, or not. i dunno.

8. because of some much ill feelings, i opted to order food at mcdonald's and ended up bingeing on a big mac, large fries and strawberry float. yum!

oh well, i'll pray once more tonight that i'll have a more peaceful disposition for the week to come.

so how was your week?

oh what a hottie!!!

i gawked and gasped and drooled! never mind if he's still but a kid. but my oh my, he's the oh-so innocent looking daniel radcliff no more!


















here's more:







sigh. i'm never gonna watch Harry Potter the same way again....*blush*

reconnecting

i went out again last night to the delight of my officemates here who were kinda worried that i seem to have been hiding for long. it's just that since i've been staying here in the office i've been of course on duty for like errr 24/7. no wonder our computer terminals have been overheating as i chose to reconnect on the net rather than in the flesh...

well, last night i opted to meet with fellow moms whom i've met on the net (but of course) and was truly glad to have found people like them. yeah, cyberspace does not just supply you with a handful of suitor wannabes but friends as well.



the mommies went on with the usual yakkity yak we are so known for. what is it with moms anyway that could make us continuously babble about our kids and anything else for that matter? even if we've only met each other for the first or a second time we seem to have been brought together by a special bond.

after a great dinner at the recipes ,hmmm great food by the way, some of the mommies went home ahead while a few of us stayed a bit for some mamam fun yi-ha.

really had a blast and i sure would want to see each one of them again. ;)

at first sight

i realized i'm not a nicholas sparks fan anymore. i find this book a letdown, can't say major letdown..slight lang hehe...

though i loved a walk to remember and the notebook so much i remembered i stopped buying his books after having predicted the ending of a bend in the road even midway to its story.

maybe i imagined it to be much of a hardcore love story or a suspense love thriller, if there is such. i found the first few chapters to be too mundane, too ordinary. i mean, most couples are actually going through what was described and i learned nothing new there (or maybe because i just Pex a lot :D ) and those suspicious emails were just sort of a lousy distraction and was never resolved anyway.

the ending may not have been predictable but it was a major disappointment. sigh. i'll still might read his books if my sister still buys them (paging!) but i don't think i'd buy them again for myself. bleh!

how about you, have you read it and actually like it??

missing Xan

i'm home on a friday night. nowhere to go. not really wanting to go out with anyone anyway. pathetic but true. i'm currently reading a book but my thoughts are wandering somewhere else. how i wish am home and not here sulking and mulling over what and who's not here.

as i was thinking about this blog i stumbled upon a thread in Pex which inspired me to expound on this. special thanks to ms. violetbabe, nick relative. :D newei, here's my own list:

-i miss waking up till noon, kissing my dear Xan, and getting up for coffee just the same.

- i miss watching Game Ka na Ba with Xan and trying hard to get the million peso question.

-i miss sleeping again and or chatting with my sis as Xan make cutesy faces on our webcam.

- i miss lining up with my nieces and nephews for our 1 hour each allowance use at the computer.

-i miss running after Xan everytime he darts to the stairs and would even retort back when i would try to stop him.

-i miss watching GMA telebabad with my family. here, it really doesn't make sense watching Bakekang or Jumong alone.

-i miss my mama's cooking. even the sight of her favorite paksiw na isda which i don't eat at all.

-i miss our pet cats Ginger and Ponkie which my mama no longer allows entry to the house since they got skin diseases.

-i miss waking up to the background sound of Eudemons whenever my nephew would sneak in to the pc and play till the wee hours of the morning.

- i miss Xan's toothy smile as he sees me holding his toothbrush. he just loves brushing his teeth even if he gets tickled when the bristles brush his gums.

-i miss chatting with my nieces as they recount their anecdotes for the day.

-i miss teaching Xan to say "Mai-mai" even he says back Ma-pa or babababa....

-i miss scouring the ukays at the market with my sis and my nieces.

-i miss taking Xan to jollibee and hearing him say "mmmmmm" whenever i feed spaghetti.

i could go on and on but waaaahhhh i just really miss Xan and everyone home!!!!!!

stalking daughtry

well, oh well...what can i do, i love his clear, raspy voice. and i don't care if he didn't won AI last year, he's won me over.

i found this vid with him singing one of my fave songs Plush by Stone Temple Pilots. which i could follow him everywhere. yeyeye!

still hooking up?

these past few months i've been hearing one sob story after another over failed relationships. what's more heartbreaking is that these relationships actually lasted for more than 5 years. i dunno, maybe speed dating and whirlwind romances could just be the thing now???

here's some of their stories:

-friend no. 1 and her bf are supposed to get married last december. they have been together for 9 years. however the guy met someone else and asked the gf for a cool off. what's a cool off anyway? tipong pagod na ako pahinga muna tayo at try sa iba? well, the gf tried hard to make it work just the same. even begged her bf to stay, nevermind if the guy sees both of them still. duh! but the guy was keen on staying away and chased after this other girl. oh well, the marriage date was of course cancelled.

-friend no. 2 was with her bf for 7 years before getting married. they we're together for 4 years till one day they fought really hard and he almost strangled her to death. although they' ve fought occasionally he was never violent till that time. she feared for her life that she ran away and left him. she vows to never go back to him and even filed a police report on the incident. a tro was subsequently issued to the guy.

-friend no. 3 is with his gf for 6 years. they even lived together for while till his gf left for another country last year. early december she confessed she met someone new. the bf of course was devastated but what can he do? now he has to face the daunting task of disposing the ref, tv, and other furnitures they own as a couple. drat!

i'd like to believe that maybe it's just a phase they are going to. that maybe somehow they will still be able to patch things up. but i can't help but surmise that maybe it's just how things are sometimes. my sister is telling me that Satan may actually be working double time to wreak havoc on relationships. oh well...

talking about these situations however have been greatly helping me look away from my own situation.it has helped me keep afloat in this sea of brokenness. we even tried to look for really happy relationships around us and could sadly pinpoint but a few. really sad indeed.

the question now is whether to believe in the power of love just the same or remain cynical and wary about it. although i admit about feeling giddy and excited about the prospect of going out and maybe finding someone new i still am doubtful that any of these could really lead to something good. ayayay...

how about you, would you still choose to hook up just the same???

10 years of what???

i was at ym with a long lost college friend yesterday and it both occured to us that it's actually been 10 years ago since we graduated from college (yeah, am that old!) we excitedly talked about a grand reunion, at least for us orgmates as there's no news yet for a university-wide one.

deep inside though i felt this pang of shame telling her that i'm still inside the walls of our school. hell yeah, am at my comfort zone and i'm finding it really hard to get out. the same way that i prefer to cling to my family more than ever.

as i was walking out from our office later that day i sort of became depressed thinking what i've done and what i've accomplished for the past 10 years. it may seem ironic that though most of my high school friends consider how much of a success i am i still am a nobody when compared to my college mates. but what's a "nobody" anyway? i think of what i have and all i can boast of are the photos i've collected through the years, the number of books mostly novels and self helps i got from book sales and some from specialty shops, and some mileage accumulated from all my travels. darn, what's to count anyway. my bank account's not much to speak of. i've a lot of credit card bills though. waaaahh! i feel so poor!

come to think of it, my job has led me to a lot "good" people who claim that i have touched their lives and have given them enough inspiration. maybe i'll just have to bank on that for now. yeah right!

back to reality

sigh. am back here in manila again. back to living in my suitcase and some other stuffs in boxes as i still "squat" here in our office.

the flight went on pretty smoothly though i barely had enough sleep since my Xan was in his usual aswang mode and preferred to stay up till almost 5am that day.


i even had to wake him up around 8am before i left. my so obedient Xan stirred, sat up and gave me his sweetest smile. never mind if i roused him from deep sleep. i am truly blessed.

great thing i had a good book with me, mitch albom's for one more day which was really a good companion.

oh darn, my things here in the office are still messed up and i still feel like sleeping some more and my body still aches from all that wave wrestling we had.

but this is only the start of my new year here at work. just have to give myself some more "me" time and "work" time and just keep myself busy and amused.

before i knew it, i'll be riding that plane again to take me back home into my Xan's arms. bliss!;)

Baby no more

my son just turned one last sunday. i've a baby no more. it seemed like days ago when i learned i have him and walked around with a bulging tummy. how time really whizzes by.

it seemed like yesterday when i would be up till late when he cries and coos till i nurse him to sleep. now all he does is run around and swings his toys like crazy till his eyelids droop.

sooner or later this baby will be charging out the door and into the streets.

i miss my baby.

last year...

(To celebrate my Xan's bday today, I'm reposting this entry which i posted to our Pex forum. Haay, so good to reminisce lang)


I was due feb.1 or late january but it was only jan. 14 around 530am nung nagising ako at parang may nagloosen na buto sa hips ko. then i felt na parang naiihi ako, i was sleepy so i held it down for a while kaso nag trickle na yung water so i slowly got up and went to the bathroom downstairs. dahan2 ako naglakad while controlling the water. i made it through the restroom and peed, ang tagal hehehe...i went back to my room, water was still trickling. i woke my mom up na . medyo nataranta din sya, got up at once and woke my niece up. kami lang kse sa bahay. i was lying on my side sa bed. then my mom told me, baka d pa yan. minsan daw kse a week after pa lalabas. i got her fon tinext ko mga kilala sis ko at friend ko na gustong sumama sa hosp (med tech kse sya) then i timed my contractions. mga 5 mins apart pa lang.i was dictating to my niece what bag to use, what to bring. d ako handa!! i even asked my mom kung klangan na pumunta sa hosp. bat daw sya tinatanong ko. heheh


around 7 nagpatawag na ako taxi. i was wearing pa din my daster na basa na. nahihiya pa ko sa driver kse nabasa seat nya. pagdating sa hosp ni IE na ko and told me 4cm pa lang. ni shave na ko then told me to wait lang. i wasn't adviced to walk or move around. ask ko lang kung ok lang nman mag text heheh... i texted everyone. my bro texted back to say "good luck". i was wheeled to my room to wait. i was told na pag medyo nai-ebs ako at masarap na umire then it's time na.

Yun, masakit na, masarap umire. para kang nai-ebs nga. i called na the nurse. i was wheeled back to the delivery room. tapos sabi 8cm na ako. dpat 9cm pa. My feet we're up on the stirrups. the nurse and the doc were in front of me nag chichikahan.i would whimper during contractions pero d ako sumisigaw, shy ako eh heheh...my bestfriend was there with me holding my hand. sobrang sakit na i got my legs from the stirrups and laid on my side, grabe ang sakit, i vomited. yes, i pooped din. sabi ng doc it's ok to poop kse kasunod daw bebi na lumabas. about an hour later 8cm pa din. liit na tummy ko and yet ang taas pa ni bebi. my doc suggested for me na mag CS. bulong ko sa frend ko sana normal din lang ang bayad heheh...tapos i asked pa my mom sa labas kung ok lang cs ako ayoko kse talaga. then nag decide na ko. i was rushing the doc na kse sobrang sakit. kaso someone else was scheduled na sa operating room so they have to refix it para mauna ako. I was wheeled there i was on my knees, pina pa straighten ako ng doc for the anesthesia ayoko gumalaw, pinilit nya ako, sinakyan para madrecho then inserted somthing sa back ko. then i felt numb na. then nag panic ako kse i couldn't breath, gusto ko sumigaw walang sound. i prayed na lang na mag pass out ako. yun, i woke up tapos na daw. i couldn't move. i slept for hours and hours. yun... then my doc told me na buti namadali kse nag cord coil pala bebi ko at nakatingala sya, his chin was up kaya nakaharang d sya makalabas agad. ang tagal daw makaiyak kse stressed na sa loob, and boy he's big at 7.18lbs! heheh...now i've my 4 month old bebi Xan.

prepping up for another celebration

the past months have really been crazy for our household most particularly our kitchen. we've been planning and preparing one party after another since most of our birthdays fall along with the holidays too. and now that my son is being added to the list too we are now busy preparing as well for his first birthday.

really great as we've been really excited celebrating his big day that we've celebrated mini birthdays every month as a sort of practice and countdown. we can't wait!!!

my greatest gift

the little boy in my manger.

blocked from view

after all the fireworks and the revelries taking place last holidays my birthday which is coming up in a few days may all be just a pfft. who cares for another celebration anyway when it's already the time to lose all the fats we've had and recover the sleep lost for all that partying. o well..

and guess what, my son's birthday is coming up soon too and i go on with the hassles of giving him a big anough bash trampling on my own birthdate along the process. ayay!

but what's a birthday anyway? it's just adding another year, counting more passed days, going through collected photos and events, welcoming more wrinkles and all that comes along with aging. who cares if am gonna be 31 soon.

yeah, 31!!! it's ok, my son's turning one too. at least it would be so much easier to compute our age gap heheh...

Baked Pork Ribs for New Year

since my bro brought tons of seafoods from Zamboanga for our media noche, i opted to prepare meat as my share. i tried googling for several pork roast and rib recipes and got several ideas from different sites.

Dec. 30, we scoured the supermarket and meatshops for a goodlooking piece of meat and finally settled for a more than a kilo of rib part. when i got home though i forgot at what site i found the recipe that i wanted to follow so i just made out my own. here's what i remembered doing heheh....

ingredients:
pork ribs (uncut)
salt
pepper
all spice powder (mcormick)
calamansi juice
beer

sauce:
200 g. tomato sauce
1/2 cup brown sugar
catsup

procedures:
1. rub meat with salt, pepper and all spice powder.
2. add calamansi juice and about 3 cups of beer.
3. marinate for a few hours or up to a day. i let it stand for a day.
4. mix tomato sauce and brown sugar to be used for basting.
4. pre-heat oven up to 220 C.
5. put ribs in a pan along with the stock. bake it for 1 hour and 30 mins. baste it with tomato sauce and brown sugar every 30 minutes.
6. Turn the meat over and let it bake for another 30 minutes.
7. remove meat from the pan and mix remaining stock with the remaining tomato sauce and brown sugar mixture and add catsup. let it boil for a while. use this as sauce/ topping for the meat. yummy!

Happy eating!

7 things i wish for 2007

am not so good at keeping resolutions so i'll just list a few wishes for the new year to come.

1. 15,000 miles. i hope to accumulate at least that in my Mabuhay Miles to at least take me to Singapore or wherever. So far I have 12000 plus. Yey!

2. 4 + 1. being the wanderlust that i am i hope i could travel to 4 interesting spots around the country and at least one abroad. don't really care whether it's work related or Pex sabit. waah!


3. 50K. with how much i earn and spend a month i wish to have this modest savings by the end of the year. i wish! i wish!


4. 50% off. i've been maxing my credit cards left and right and the interests i pay every month are just outrageous. i really wish i could just throw them out the window or lock it out for good. sigh.


5. 100 lbs. i really wish to keep my weight down to at least a 100 lbs. am barely 5' it wouldn't look good if i become overweight. that would spell then a regular trip to the gym and not to the kitchen har-har.


6. 100%. someday soon i just want to be a full time mom to my growing bebi Xan. who's really turning into a bebi no more. sniff.

7. The One. hmmm...i don't know how to describe this. i'll just leave it to my Maker. Prays.

Have you any wish too???

christmas in our home

haay, Christmas here is always spent in a flurry. i went out and had to do my last minute shopping bleh! turned out my friends are meeting at zoey's with their kids so ninangs can give their gifts too so i brought Xan and had to buy a gift for an inaanak as well. Xan got really excited with all the confusion at the store hahah! then i met an ex at jobee and we go together to zoey to meet the rest.

wow, for once we had zoey all by ourselves heheh...

well anyway, we finished eating and chitchatting and had to go rush out again for the shopping, finally!

we get home around 7pm and ohhh smelled good there. Mama finished cooking the pata tim and the fruit cake is all laid out. then we set the table around 9pm after wrapping the hurried bought gifts.


we had chicken and pork afritada and roasted chicken and the ham and the leche flan and the mango supreme. oh so yummy!

around 11, we were so sleepy and tired to wait for midnight so we started giving gifts already. Xan was so confused with all the ohhs and ahhs we gave out after receiving the gifts and he shrieked too when he finally got his own.


oh well, i was to sleepy and tired to go out and watch the fireworks i went to our room and slept. heheh...watta kwismas!

the la luz experience

oh yeah, we made it to la luz after all!

twas quite a long drive from ateneo to san juan, batangas. we dropped by candelaria to have lunch at an officemate's house and feasted on a pork dish i forgot what it's called and fried tilapia. hmmm! namnam! as my son would say.

we finally arrived in la luz at around 3pm, lazed on the beach a while and ate our snacks which was part of the 800 meal package. haay sarap!

the place looks really great though twas quite far and there was about 4km of unpaved, dusty road from the main highway. good thing we had a car. it would have been a total nightmare had we commuted. phew!

the beach is not that good though as there were rocky portions and the sand is coarse. we later learned from the locals that it was better way back then before typhoons hit the country. sayang.

i had a lot of rashes though because of the jelly fishes which we could barely see. good thing Xan was spared from it. sometimes it's best to just wade in the sand heheh..

the view is indeed really nice. and the facilities are good. food is so yummy, buffet all the way! so all in all our short stay was well worth it. sana makabalik kami! sama tayo next time ha!



more pics here.

pinched...

i have Xan with me now. in fact he's sleeping soundly on our office foor (on his playmat) as i write this.

for once i was really scared i may not be able to get him back from his dad. i had a dream once where i was supposedly walking Xan in the mall with his dad. Then apparently i lost them and never saw them again. I went to his dad's house but his parents told me he wasn't home yet. how i broke down and cried. i woke up all sweaty and in tears. it's indeed every single mom's nightmare.

i was quite apprehensive in bringing him here from the province. i was pretty sure his dad would want to see and borrow him. somehow i allowed him thinking it's also best for Xan to know his dad.

and i didn't want to be greedy.

i didn't want to create more rift between us, his dad and i.

while i waited for them last night a lot of negative thoughts crossed my mind.

what if they would never come?

what if something bad happened?

what if Xan had an accident and is injured?

and so on and so forth...

a taxi finally pulled up in front of KFC where i waited. i almost jumped when i saw them coming out. then Xan was walking slowly holding on to his dad. mighty sweet indeed. then he smiled when he saw me. and smiled to his dad too. i kissed him at once and told him how much i missed him. he just hugged me back.

then something almost heartbreaking happened.

when i carried Xan, he looked to his dad and wanted to go to him and cried. i hugged him tight and his dad told him to stay with me. we said our quick goodbyes and i immediately rode the trike and asked to be taken home.

on the way home i felt so sorry for my son that i could not give him the ideal life he could have. it would be nice if us, his parents stay together and be close as a family. but i don't think i could ever stay in that kind of relationship anymore.

on the one hand, i was happy they did bond and click in the 2-3 days they were together. at least i'm sure Xan had a great time being with him.

sigh.

just really glad Xan is back with me now.

drool

i am currently lusting over this one:



Havaianas Slim Season Size 35-36.

Anyone who can send me this for free or for a fee will really make my Christmas all merry and gay. ;)

sharing Xan

Xan is currently with his dad for a couple of days now. and though i'm a bit apprehensive, i feel much better sharing Xan and making him know his father better. much as i want my son to have a complete family the best that i could do is let them spend some time together and bond.

i am hoping that with this he will feel much more loved having "other" people aside from my family doting on him.

beachy in december

i know typhoon seniang just ravaged my other paradise which is boracay but i don't think this could stop us from trying out the beach for once. our office is actually planning for a Christmas outing in La Luz Resort, Batangas this weekend. weeeh!! i really hope we could push through.

we have yet to process our budget not to mention our salaries so we could all go. am really excited. and yes, of course, Xan, my little el viajero is coming with us too.
wow, i hope to post real pics here soon. wish us luck! ;)

tainted frailties

i just heard one of the saddest news today. apparently, the adopted daughter of our colleague is six months pregnant...

she's just 16...

and she doesn't know who the father is.


i was too stunned for a while i wasn't able to react at once. then i had goosebumps and i almost felt the tears starting to well up. yeah, motherhood may have softened me up a bit but news like this is just really hard to take. we know it happens everywhere but we still get shocked when it hits right home.

often we ask ourselves what is indeed happening with the world today?

i've been scanning my niece's friendster and there's one other girl actually showing off her bulging tummy. i learned she is but 17 and has stopped school. yet there she is posing proudly as if being a mother at 17 and single at that is the best achievement a girl could ever have. and yeah, her mom was the one who took the pics.

sometimes i feel that maybe we just watch too many movies and look up to whoever looks sparkly out there. it feels scary that our kids actually watch too much of britney spears.


o dear.

really glad i have a son.

gearing up for a purple christmas

here's our present christmas tree and we are all loving it. for a change, we veered away from the usual all too colorful tree with the reds the blues and the yellows and selected just one theme color. and since i bought all the decors i get to choose the color purple. but of course!

and to match, i had my nails painted purple as well. weehhh!

lost and found image

this pc of mine is about 2 or 3 years old already and am really happy that most of my files we're still saved even after having it reformatted. newei, here's one of the few pics i found hidden in my data disc.



this was taken during my last visit in enchanted kingdom way back 2002, i think.

priceless treasures

i recently got 3 pairs of high heeled shoes from the ukay which i got for 100 bucks a pair. pretty inexpensive though i don't really know what to do with them or when to use them since we don't really get to wear these in the office.



last night though i tried them on and strutted in front of my son and oh how he giggled and laughed as if tickled red. he must have been so amused at how mommy looked so funny wearing high heels in just her shorts and house shirt.




now at least i know of a great way to make use of these shoes hehehe....

Xan Day (as posted on momexchange)

it was only about 9am when i heard people around me saying "mmm! nam-nam! sarap sarap!' i sort of panicked because i might be missing all the food they were having. i immediately tried to pry my eyes open just to see what it was but instead there was no food but my mamang, ate mai, ate bb and ate tata taking turns in trying to wake me up by pretending there was food. my mom wasn't beside me anymore and i tried to look for her but mamang and everyone else was quick to greet me "good morning xanxanboy!" and i had to smile of course. mamang then carried me and brought me to the living room where mommy was sipping coffee. hmm, so this is where the food is. i then took a seat in the dining table with them and ate bits and pieces of rice, scrambled eggs and longganisa. hmmm, namnam talaga!

around 10am mom brought me outside to take a bath al fresco which i love so much. yey!



after which my mom puts on my shirt and diapers but i'd be so likot she had to pin me down just to get done. and when i'm all done and fresh looking my mom looks all disheveled up and sweaty hehehe...

1030 i played with my cousins and they let me crawl all over the floor and even practice walking once again!

walk!


11am i got so tired from all the moving around that i fell asleep. zzzz...


12noon, of course i woke up at noon just in time for my favorite daily show Game Ka Na Ba. Mommy lets me sit on my chair in front of the tv and she can just leave me and do whatever she wants while i get hypnotized by Kris.


after which mom fed me my with my favorite cerelac and this time it's brown rice with milk variety. i can already eat anything but she still gives me this because she loves it for herself too. hehehe...

130pm...we were supposed to go to the grocery store but mom still wants to watch Survivor Cook Islands at 2pm so she let me play again and even eat a chocolate cookie!

230pm...i fell asleep while waiting for mom to finish the show. though i've already changed for our gala she set me on the bed and i snoozed again.

330pm...i woke up and we left for the grocery store. but mom stopped by the bank to pay her bills first and i entertained the tellers with my cute chubby smile bleh!

400pm...we're in the grocery picking up some goodies!


5pm...mom hasn't eaten lunch yet so we all trooped to jollibee for some more yummy moments.

Jolly spag moment


700pm...we finally got home since my mom dropped by to ukay once again. i got home really tired and fell asleep on the ride home.

800pm... i woke up and get to drink my milk again. after which i played around and watched tv too.

930pm... mom gave me a warm bath to freshen up.

10pm...i slept once again. haay i'm such a sleepyhead.

1130pm...i woke up since my mom is still not beside me and i hear my kuya ian playing conquer on line again. i got up to watch.


they got annoyed because i want to click on the mouse and the keyboard and play too. so they placed me on my mat and i played with my toys instead.


and i showed them my new antics too!
Close-Open


around 130 i finally felt tired and climbed to bed with my mom there already. she gave me my milk and i tossed and turned while i suck on my milk till i  finally fell asleep. good night, errr good morning world!

too colorful

twas indeed too colorful twas almost blinding.

we were like kids chasing each other on the alleyways. you would wait up for me before we go to our classroom. you would then offer to carry my stuffs.

we were always sitted beside each other. we were always whispering or making signs that we appeared to have our own language.

though people around us suspected, no one really bothered to ask us.




how we bickered when i wasn't home and you called up. or i was wearing something you didn't approve of. or when you cut class again or did not have an assignment.

we even used to meet up every morning on the upper floors whenever we give the excuse that we are checking out the classroms before the flag ceremony. that became our sort of little playground. it was there where we talk about mundane or silly things like the tv show we watched the night before, or what we had for dinner, or how i quarelled with my mom again. it was there where we hurriedly do our assignements we've failed to do then.

it was there where once, you hugged me from behind and thanked me for being there when you needed me the most. and for being there when you just wanted to be with someone who wouldn't ask you for anything.i must have melted in your arms and realized how much that felt good and how much that meant to me then.

but then of course everyone else knew that you were with someone. she was a friend of mine and we would meet up once in a while along the corridors and in school activities. young as i was though it really didn't matter much to me. of course there would be times when i'd ask you about her but you chose not to talk about it. you always just want to talk about you or me or anyone else but what you had with her. everyone else around me told me to let them be or make him choose. but that didn't matter to me much. i just wanted to be with him and why else would we both deprive ourselves of our moments.

call me naive or blind or what. but i was content with it. after all i still had him at my beck and call.

came a time though when i chose to be with someone too. after all we were leaving high school and i sort of realized how much i've spent so much time with you i've failed to notice this guy who i've gotten close too. coincidentally he was your bestfriend and though on the one hand it was supposed to make things better for us all since we can all be together and have fun however things only became more complicated. phew! i didn't know loving and being in a relationship could be that hard.

that somehow took a toll in our friendships. you started to stay away from me telling me i should spend more time with your friend and not with him. friends told me that there became a strain in your friendship too. i dunno, everything just became too cloudy. i chose to back away from everyone else. guess it has always been my escape to just stay away from it all.

then came graduation...we didn't speak a long time then you gave me a letter. it was not just an ordinary letter. it was written in a binder filler and was more than 10 pages long. it had verses and poems and songs. and it told me how much i mean to you. but you didn't want to hurt your friend or complicate things even more. i remember crying while i was reading that damn thing. we were on a class outing then, i was on the beach and it was really hard to hide my tears.

oh well...a few days after you left for college. then i left too....

youthful madness

read: kakornihan

i chanced upon my high school slumbook while i was rummaging thru my stuffs in my old room. yes, buhay pa sya! it's been almost 15 years and you know, things just came rushing back once i opened up the book i haven't really seen in ages.

anyway, here's a few snippets of our kakornihan:

nah, forget it. it's just too childish and girly. i couldn't believe i actually wrote them hahahaha!!!

just to give you some clues though, i wrote about him as my "candle in the dark" and had our names combined and became DANEL. our song was To Be with You.

then with my first boylet, our names became LANCE. His song for me was Bakit labis kitang Mahal (wahahaha!)

an old classmate of mine called me her "rival in everything" as she was my closest competition in class, and her crush turned out to have a crush on me. (wattalyf!)

there were inserts of pictures and doodles and poems and quotes, song lyrics, etc.

sigh. i miss high school.

(i'll post pics soon as my cp is getting way too slow to load)

i chose you

we were in 3rd year high. i was the usual snobbish elitist girl who didn't care much about boys. i had enough troubles already struggling with staying on top and being the best student and leader. i didn't really get to look around and see who's cute or not.

then you came.

you we're a transferee. apparently you were kicked out from your previous school. my apologies for being blunt.

you came into class not bringing anything except for a small binder. i knew then how carefree you must be. but i stared and followed you and stared. there was something about you. yeah, something so familiar about you.

then our teacher introduced you to us as a transferee. as soon as i heard your name i knew at once who you were. you were a classmate in kindergarten. i had vivid images of you. you were kinda chubby then with straight jet black hair in full bangs. i remember getting a glimpse of you standing at the doorway of your store near our school as the jeep i'm riding on passed by it. i remembered your mom who brought you to school everyday. i remembered that we even had a picture taken then. i remembered you.

i remembered rummaging through my stuff for our photo. after all i was determined to get to know you really well. then i found it, kinda yellowed with age yet there was us. i couldn't help but smile.

come election time, i had you nominated as property custodian. i didn't even exactly knew what it meant but i did just the same. of course you lost, after all no one really knew you well. but at least i got your attention and stared at me a bit too.

then i knew school won't ever be the same way again.

for admittedly, i was smitten.

letting go... letting come...

i've dreamed of you twice this week. twas really weird and so vivid i could still remember my lines till now. i told you "am never happy knowing that you're with someone else" how am i supposed to deal with that?

you've been married almost two years now. and though you live just a short ride away we've never seen each other for such a long time. i've never even seen your daughter who's turning 2 soon. i guess i erased any longing to ever see you again the day you walked the aisle on your wedding day. your dad was relieved in declaring i could finally go on with my life now. but have i? will i?

i just learned that you actually named your daughter alexa, my son is alixandro. i remembered we both got surprised upon knowing that and you told me you're hoping that your alex could someday meet my alix. and i was tempted to retort that yeah, so my son could break your daughter's heart too. my bad. that bad.

look who's back!!!

I went to Manila a few months ago and mommy brought me to toy kingdom and made me try out this bike. wow! i can ride a bike. someday soon i will ask for one i could finally take home. ;)

I miss my Mommy and I'm sure Mommy misses me too!!!

ticker madness!!!

here's another one for my dear lil Xan.

a million smiles....

he learned to smile at an early age. and he smiles more often now especially when he just woke up and when he just fed and burped. miss you bbkoy!!!

sleep galore!

Current fave pic...

kahit tulog, may attitude talaga ang anak ko!! hahaha!